Ah My Goddess Marller Gets a Spinoff: The Return of Jeffrey Epstein Screenplay 122 Pages

 

DISCLAIMER:

Kevin Neece feels that he has a personal responsibility to come clean about a sick and twisted practical joke that he performed in this film. When Kevin Neece was writing this movie, he understood up front that there have been numerous incidents where film producers who were attempting to make films that exposed inside information about the Cult of Baal and Child Sex Trafficking Rings wound wind up dead in reported "accidents" or "suicides". Anne Heche, Paul Walker, Congresswoman Jackie Walorski, Stanley Kubrick, and Halyna Hutchins were all murdered by the Sex Traffickers. Everybody on the Internet knows it, and the Police Investigators have not lifted a finger to do anything about it. Kevin Neece theorized that if he cast all of his worst enemies in the movie with Jeffrey Epstein, it would result in the entire cast and crew being murdered by the Rothschild Family right along with him. If Kevin Neece was going to sacrifice his life to stand up to these monsters, then he was going to take his worst enemies down with him. None of the people who are depicted in this movie have had any involvement in its writing or production. None of the people in this movie have granted their consent to their likenesses being used. It is a complete and utter mockery of all the Conspiracy Theories that are already being passed around online by millions of people and there is nothing featured in the film that hasn't already been exposed to the general public through the Epstein Files. You would think that the Rothschild Family and the Illuminati would have a sense of humor about their image being presented as villains in Fictional Hollywood movies but they don't. Jim Carrey made fun of these people on live national television and they murdered his girlfriend and made it look like a suicide. These people have no sense of humor because they are not human beings. These people have no human soul. Ask any of the Rape Survivors who knew Jeffrey Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell personally. There is a reason why Jeffrey Epstein is guest starring in a film about Demons, it's because he was a real life Demon himself and fits right in with the characters. If you see any of the people depicted in this movie announced dead on the news, do not believe anything that they say about us. The Rothschild Family control the News Outlets. The Rothschild Family are featured 11,000 times in the Epstein Files. We are not Bad Drivers. We are not Suicidal. If we are reported dead, it's because we were all murdered by the Rothschild Family Sex Traffickers. Those who sit back in safety while others are being harmed deserve neither safety nor liberty. It is not our fault for making a film that calls these Sadistic Monsters out for their crimes, it is their fault for committing their crimes against all of us. This movie, it's screenplay, and all of it's source files are being released to the entire United States Congress and Senate, the CIA, the Pentagon, the Austin Police Homicide Division, the Entire Staff of Kodansha Ltd, the Entire Staff of Dark Horse Comics, and the Epstein Rape Survivors to prevent the Cult of Baal and the Rothschild Family from wiping it out of existence. If this winds up being Kevin Neece's final film, then at least I died standing up for a cause that I believe in. Just like Stanley Kubrick.

MARLLER GETS A SPINOFF:

THE RETURN OF JEFFREY EPSTEIN

Written by Kevin Neece

FADE IN:

INTERIOR TARDIS

MARLLER:

Doctor What. Have you been reading what everyone has been saying online about the Epstein Investigation?

DOCTOR WHAT:

No, I try to avoid Internet Conspiracy Theories about the Illuminati. I've already heard them all. Social Media has become a daily annoyance where people just keep repeatedly posting the same trivia for click bait. I can't tell which person of interest pisses me off more. OnlyFans Model Sophie Rain, or Notorious Sex Offender Jeffrey Epstein. I have no doubt that the Illuminati is real. It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if all of the Politicians and Hollywood Producers really were Satanists that blood sacrifice children to advance their Professional Careers. But what's the point of it all if the United States Government isn't going to lift a finger to do anything about it?

MARLLER:

That is exactly why I wanted to talk to you today. I just got hit with the most evil idea imaginable. What if somebody who has the power to travel back and forth to the Afterlife were to find Jeffrey Epstein in the Pits of Hell, and bring him back from the Dead so that he will be forced to testify in front of United States Congress against President Donald Trump?

DOCTOR WHAT:

I'm listening.

MARLLER:

No that's it. That's the entire plan.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Simplistic. Inventive. Caters to the Theme of Revenge Fantasy. And everybody in the United States of America probably wishes they could go out and do it.

MARLLER:

I know. I'm so fucking excited I can't stand it.

DOCTOR WHAT:

I'm sorry. Are you waiting around for us to do this now? Like right now?

MARLLER:

Yes, yes, please take me away on this Super Happy Fun Time Magical Sci Fi Adventure. I can't wait to go to Hell again. Niflheim is so lovely this time of year. Niflheim is the Happiest Place on Earth. It is truly a fucking Paradise for Demons everywhere.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Why don't you just go on Vacation to Niflheim and forget the whole Jeffrey Epstein thing? He had his time. He died and went to Hell. He did everything in his power to earn it. Even if he was murdered by the United States Government, he still brought it on himself.

MARLLER:

That's what I'm trying to tell you. One of my old colleagues from Niddhog Headquarters informed me that after Jeffrey Epstein's suicide, he never showed up in Hell. Jeffrey Epstein is still alive.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Do your sources know where to find him?

MARLLER:

No they don't. But they tipped me off that there may be someone in Niflheim who does. We've just got to go to Niflheim Doctor What. The United States of America is counting on us.

DOCTOR WHAT:

No they're not. The United States of America doesn't even know we exist. Everyone is too busy watching Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss on Amazon Prime. They don't need Ah My Goddess anymore.

MARLLER:

I'm begging you Doctor What. You've got to take me to Niflheim. You've just got to.

DOCTOR WHAT:

You're not going to back down on this idea are you? Okay, fine, fuck it, we'll go to Niflheim, find this Informant that you're so thrilled about, and maybe, just maybe, we can finally solve the mystery of whether Jeffrey Epstein is really dead. Will that make you happy?

CUT TO:

INTERIOR NIFLHEIM DUNGEON

MARLLER:

Jacob Rothschild? Is it really you? I totally forgot you died and went to hell back in 2024. How are you doing old buddy? Didn't exactly set the world on fire did you?

JACOB ROTHSCHILD:

They gave me a Personal Assistant named Smithers... and he keeps trying to have Gay Sex with me. Somebody named Kevin Neece sent a letter to the management demanding that I be fucked up the ass everyday by my own personal Smithers as a reference to Mr Burns on The Simpsons... and then they went out and did it for real. If I could tell the world one last thing, it would be that the old saying is true. No matter how much wealth and power that you achieve in life, you cannot take it with you, because Hell for the Elite is a very real place. Remember me for that.

MARLLER:

Yes yes, that's all well and good but, we're trying to find the contact information for Jeffrey Epstein. It was stated in his email files that he was a representative for the Rothschilds meaning that you were personally financing his business endeavors. Good luck with that by the way. What I'm trying to say is... we can't seem to find him because by all appearances he never really died and went to Hell. Were you ever in contact with him after his death in prison was reported all over the news?

JACOB ROTHSCHILD:

He's in Tel Aviv Israel. He doesn't use the internet anymore, he writes and sends all of his messages using flash drives. He learned the trick from Osama Bin Laden's death reports on the news. I may still have his home address memorized.

MARLLER:

Wow. That was easy.

JACOB ROTHSCHILD:

I'm getting fucked up the ass every night by a personal assistant named Smithers. I don't give a fuck about Jeffrey Epstein's welfare now that I'm dead, just get Smithers far the fuck away from me and my ass for the Love of fucking Christ. I'm too old to be fucked up the ass. I miss my life of luxury.

MARLLER:

That's not really my department Jacob. We don't work here anymore. We're just visiting.

JACOB ROTHSCHILD:

But I'm giving you all the goods here. You can have anything you want.

MARLLER:

Just give us his home address.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TEL AVIV APARTMENT

MARLLER:

Jeffrey Epstein. Prepare Thyself because Judgment Day has arrived.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I'm sorry. Who the fuck are you supposed to be?

DOCTOR WHAT:

I'm Corey Feldman's Twin Brother.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

No not you. The Blond Cosplayer Slut with the Sigil Tattoos on her face.

MARLLER:

My name is Mara. And I'm a First Class Demon, Unlimited License, No Restrictions. And I'm also known throughout Hindu and Buddhist Mythology as the Goddess of Nightmares.

DOCTOR WHAT:

And you can call me Doctor What. I'm Everybody's Favorite Public Access Time Lord. And together we are The Marller Gang. Spiritual Demon Bounty Hunters representing the Offices of Yggdrasil and Niddhog Headquarters.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

What the fuck is Public Access?

DOCTOR WHAT:

It's a Special Needs TV Station for People Who Suck too Hard to work on Real Television. Wait... you don't know what Austin Public Access is?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Do I look like someone who can't afford to pay for Real Television? Do you see me walking the streets with a fucking tin cup asking for handouts?

MARLLER:

Don't remind me. I've been down that road.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Okay Marller Gang. Outside of Breaking and Entering my Apartment and cosplaying like a couple of Anime Reject Faggots, you haven't crossed any lines yet that cannot be forgiven. How much is it going to cost to make all of this go away?

DOCTOR WHAT:

You think we went through all this trouble just so you could buy us off? We came here to put you under citizen's arrest dude.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

We're not in the United States Doctor Dumbfuck. Are you a Police Officer?

MARLLER:

No, we do not work for the Police.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Do you work for the FBI?

DOCTOR WHAT:

No, we do not work for the FBI.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Do you work for Interpol?

MARLLER:

No, we do not work for Interpol.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Do you work for the Criminal Cartels?

DOCTOR WHAT:

We're just a Couple of Demons dude. We've got connections to all of the Criminal Organizations.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Then why the fuck do you care? It's not your job. Let somebody else worry about this like everybody else on the Internet.

DOCTOR WHAT:

What do you mean it's not our job? I'm the closest living thing that you will ever meet in real life to the Doctor from BBC. I'm supposed to stand up to villains like you.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So the both of you got bored and decided to go looking for a villain like the plot of your precious television show? What happened to the Daleks and the Cybermen?

MARLLER:

Those things are a work of fiction. They were made up by Television Producers and Special Effects Artists.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I've got sad news for you, but so are Blue Police Box Time Machines that are bigger on the inside.

DOCTOR WHAT:

No, the Time Machine is real, we parked it up on the roof. It's everything else about that fucking show that's fake. David Tennant and Matt Smith are a couple of fucking posers I've got to tell you.

MARLLER:

Doctor What doesn't fight the Daleks. Doctor What fights real life, and believe me that's scary enough.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I've never actually sat down and watched Doctor Who. I've heard of it. I know what it's about. I've just had better things to do with my life, like sex trafficking and murdering underage children, or partying with Satanic Politicians and the Hollywood Elite. All of the things that make life great.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Aren't you supposed to be old enough to have lived through the actual 1960s?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I was ten years old during the 1960s. We only had three channels in those days and I don't recall any of them being BBC Television. So tell me Doctor What. If you're so famous, why has nobody ever heard of you?

MARLLER:

I used to be the Main Villain in a Famous Anime Children's Show back during the early 2000s.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

How many seasons did it get?

MARLLER:

The Animation Crew went on hiatus after two seasons, then they got booked out from under us for the Neon Genesis Evangelion films and never came back.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Fucking Posers. One Piece has been running for at least 20 Seasons.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Listen fuckface. We didn't come all the way to fucking Tel Aviv Israel just to discuss defunct anime shows with you all day. We came here to put you under citizen's arrest so we can turn you into the Police and make you testify before United States Congress against President Donald Trump. You have an obligation to the American Public to turn in all of your pedophile clients who have managed to evade arrest because you faked your death in prison before they could make you testify.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

You and what Army? I don't see the Israel Police knocking down my door. Trust me Doctor What, the United States Government doesn't want me to testify. They just arrested me so they could pretend they were doing their jobs in front of the American Public. And on that note, how the fucking hell did you two manage to track me down at my home address? I'm supposed to be dead remember?

MARLLER:

We just told you. We're fucking Demons dude. Our connections from Niflheim tipped us off that you never arrived in Hell after your suicide was announced all over the news. Your Illuminati Benefactor Jacob Rothschild sold you out because he was getting fucked up the ass every night in Hell from a personal assistant named Smithers.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

You were able to converse and meet up with Jacob Rothschild after he died?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Just what are you getting at?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I can think of a lot of people that would pay you good money if you could bring Jacob Rothschild back from the Afterlife.

MARLLER:

We would never accept bribes from the Illuminati. Those motherfuckers blood sacrifice newborn children to Baal the Canaanite Demon.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Hey I don't know anything about your personal business. I'm just asking. You tell me. Does your Hypothetical Time Machine allow you to travel back and forth from the Afterlife?

DOCTOR WHAT:

What's so hypothetical about my Time Machine? Do you think we could both afford to hop aboard a flight to Tel Aviv Israel just so we could play a Practical Joke on a Sex Offender? How do you believe we were planning to smuggle you past Airport Security and Immigration? The TARDIS allows us to bypass those things.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Really? So you can go back and forth to any destination you want within a matter of minutes, anywhere in the world, anywhere in the afterlife, and instead of traveling the world you decided to come after me? Am I really that fucking annoying to all of you?

MARLLER:

Jeffrey Epstein. You're the worst man I've ever met. And we lived through the fucking Dark Ages.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Okay then. You both drive a hard bargain. And you're clearly not going to leave me alone. You say this Time Machine is real. Let's see you prove it. Prove to me that the Time Machine from Doctor Who is real. If you can do that. Then I'll submit myself to citizen's arrest and let you turn me into the American Police.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Wow that was easy.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Not really. I'm going to win this bet because the both of you are clearly delusional and have no grasp of reality.

CUT TO:

EXTERIOR TARDIS IN OUTER SPACE

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TARDIS

DOCTOR WHAT:

So tell me Jeffrey Epstein. Still think that Doctor Who is a work of Fiction?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Oh My Goddess. I can't believe it. This thing really is bigger on the inside. Just like Roxanne Hall's asshole. I am so completely fucked.

MARLLER:

So what are the first items on today's agenda Doctor What?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Elementary my dear Marller. We are simply going to walk this man right into the Austin Police Department Headquarters and turn in him to the nearest available officer as a Special Present for all of the years they didn't arrest Kevin Neece or beat the living shit out of him when he kept sending them daily emails about Witchcraft. Call it a consolation prize.

MARLLER:

How do you know Jeffrey Epstein is going to cooperate with the Austin Police Department? How do you know he's going to tell them the truth?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I'm standing right next to both of you where I can hear you.

DOCTOR WHAT:

I raided one of Urd's Medical Cabinets and stole a bottle of her Type A Truth Pills before we went out and did this.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Type A Truth Pills? I'm sorry, are you insinuating that you are planning to drug me? That wasn't part of the deal we made.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Your entire fucking life is already on display in front of the entire internet. What could possibly be left to know about you that the Police will find out?

MARLLER:

The most recent development in your case is you paid for an entire truck filled with 330 gallons of sulfuric acid so you could dispose of your Child Victims bodies. Even to a Goddess of Nightmares like me, that's pretty psychotic.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Are you really prepared to find out the truth about my life? Do you think you could really handle the truth based on what limited information you already know about me?

DOCTOR WHAT:

I'm a fucking Demon from Niflheim. There's nothing new under the sun when you've been living in Hell for the past few centuries.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Okay Doctor What. But don't say that I didn't try to warn you. Hand over the Type A Truth Pills.

MARLLER:

This is shockingly going along much easier than we both could have expected. We honestly thought we were going to have to beat the living shit out of you and drag you into the TARDIS kicking and screaming but hey, if you're willing to cooperate then it's all the better for everyone involved.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR AUSTIN POLICE DEPARTMENT - DAY

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

I'm sorry can I help you?

MARLLER:

Officer Andy Traylor. We of the Marller Gang, Spiritual Demon Bounty Hunters representing the Yggdrasil and Niddhog Headquarters, have brought the Austin Police Department a very special care package as a Thank You for all of the years that your Homicide Detectives have been putting up with Kevin Neece's Conspiracy Theory Bullshit about Hekate Goddess of the Crossroads and the Ah My Goddess Anime Series. Doctor What and I have most recently scoured the pits of Hell to resurrect a Special Witness against the Trump Administration. A Witness that everyone on the Internet will not shut the fuck up about. We proudly present to the Austin Police Department, none other than...

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

My name is Andrew Jackson, and I am the Seventh President of the United States. More famously known as the man on the Twenty Dollar Bill. And the reason that I am still alive after all of these Centuries is because I am an immortal vampire who feeds upon the Blood Sacrifices of Underage Children. I am also the representative of the Illuminati Religious Cult that has been running a Pedophile Ring for the Hollywood Elite. You are free to book me now.

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

I'm sorry. Is this man in need of a Mental Health Specialist? Has anyone from the Austin Police Department introduced you to a service called Intregal Care?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Mara Marller.... were those Type A Truth Pills that you gave him or did you just drug Jeffrey Epstein with Hallucinogenic Mushrooms.

MARLLER:

Those were the Type A Truth Pills. He just told us all of us the truth.

DOCTOR WHAT:

You seriously expect us to fucking believe that Jeffrey Epstein was a Centuries Old Vampire the entire time, and he was once President of the United States of America!

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

I'm sorry. Did you just say Jeffrey Epstein? You are aware that Jeffrey Epstein commit suicide in his Jail Cell right?

MARLLER:

Are you seriously telling me that you can't tell who this man is based on his visual description?

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

He pretty much looks like President Andrew Jackson from the Twenty Dollar Bill. What is he supposed to be some kind of celebrity impersonator or something?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

You might just say that I'm the greatest celebrity impersonator of all time.

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

Is this man supposed to be guilty of a crime?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Oh boy is he ever. I can think of a lot of Heartbroken Parents who are going to be having nightmares for the rest of their lives because of what this Vampire has been doing for the past few centuries.

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

Do you have any sort of physical evidence to back up your claims?

MARLLER:

The United States Government has been working on this case as far back as 2006. Apparently what happened is there was this 14 year old girl who was whoring herself out at school to her fellow classmates, and it pissed off her competition, so one of the other girls beat the living shit out of her, and then the Parents discovered that she was in possession of a lot of money that she had no explanation for. So the School District brought in the Police to investigate into the matter and the case just snowballed and got bigger over the years until it incriminated the Entire United States Government, half of the Producers in Hollywood, and there are connections to the Illuminati Religious Cults. So basically President Andrew Jackson's entire operation fell apart because a 14 year old girl got into a Cat Fight at School. I'm not going to lie. This might just be the funniest crime doesn't pay story I've ever heard.

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

Okay. So what you're trying to tell me is, President Andrew Jackson is a Centuries Old Vampire from the 1800s who blood sacrifices children and his influence over our Politicians and Hollywood Producers has incriminated half of the people in the United States. Are you sure you're not talking about Jeffrey Epstein?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Fuck yes we have been talking about Jeffrey Epstein. Wake up people, the Devil himself is standing right in front of you.

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

But Jeffrey Epstein has been dead since 2019. They have pictures of his dead body from the Morgue available to the general public. What do you think they did, replace his dead body with his identical twin brother? Do you believe the United States Government genetically cloned Jeffrey Epstein just so they could replace his dead body?

MARLLER:

You are aware that Jeffrey Epstein financed the creation of a Genetic Clone using Britney Spears DNA right?

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

That's called a Conspiracy Theory. We don't investigate Conspiracy Theories at the Austin Police Department. We just arrest Prostitutes at the I-35 Hotels, or harass Homeless People living in Tents under a bridge. Occasionally the Homicide Detectives get lucky but not all that often.

DOCTOR WHAT:

You look kind of familiar. Weren't you involved in a Car Accident involving a Trailer? It was all over the News.

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

Yes it's true. My name is Officer Andy Traylor, and I totaled my Police Cruiser by driving into a Trailer. So now I'm stuck here writing down Police Reports from people with Mental Health issues like you three. Speaking of which, could I interest the either of you in this contact information for Intregal Care?

MARLLER:

Do you believe that giving away business cards for Intregal Care is going to solve all of your life problems? Has Intregal Care ever actually helped anybody with Psychological Issues? Or do the Psych Ward Doctors just Patronize Them because they are sitting in the Middle on a Mental Institution with Twenty Other People coming in and out every day?

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

Technically no. But it's not our job to diagnose people with Mental Health Issues or investigate Paranormal Conspiracy Theories. It's our job to re-direct them to someone else who is more qualified to deal with them.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So you're not going to arrest me?

OFFICER ANDY TRAYLOR:

Why would I arrest you? You're President Andrew Jackson. The man on the Twenty Dollar Bill. You Just Do You. I'll tell you what Mr President. I'm going to let you off with a Warning. But in return, I'm going to have to ask that you call up Intregal Care and tell them your Entire Life Story. If that's all you need for now, I'll be on my way.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Well then. This clearly did not go down as we would have expected. I didn't even introduce myself as Everybody's Favorite Public Access Time Lord and they still didn't believe us. So what are we supposed to do with this guy now?

MARLLER:

Maybe it's the anime cosplay. Sometimes I don't think people take me seriously as a woman because I'm wearing Red Sigil Tattoos on my Face and dress like a Vampire. I mean, it looks cool and all until you go shopping at the grocery store and everybody thinks that you work in a Tattoo Parlor located on 6th Street.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Hey Marller Gang. Can we dine out at Red Lobster? They don't serve Red Lobster in Federal Prison or the State of Israel. It's been fucking ages man. I'll totally pay for it.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Wait a minute. Where did you get the money for Red Lobster?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Those Police Officers in the corner over there paid me a bundle to take selfies with me. They said my likeness was uncanny.

MARLLER:

I don't understand this. I don't understand this at all. We've just done the United States of America a public service and nobody in this Police Station is lifting a finger to help us. You see that police woman sitting over there? From the minute we walked in the door, she should have been the first one on her knees to suck Corey Feldman's dick for the public service that he's done, and yet here we both stand, no dick sucking at all.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I know exactly what you mean. I have a magical island where all of the police officers and celebrities from around the world could come to get their dicks sucked. And what thanks do I get? Some 14 year old girl gets into a Cat Fight at School and I wind up serving a prison sentence to appease the general public. There is no justice in this world.

DOCTOR WHAT:

That's does it. President Andrew Jackson, mark my words, all of the Police Officers and FBI Agents in America might be a bunch of Fucking Idiots who don't believe in Vampires and Witchcraft, but if we put your face on Live National Television in front of the whole country, somebody out there is bound to recognize you. You cannot sincerely believe that everyone who watches television news broadcasts and social media news are complete imbeciles.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

You're not thinking interdimensionally Doctor What. My face has been on the Twenty Dollar Bill in front of the entire general public for decades and nobody figured it out until after I was dead. I'm practically wearing the Clark Kent glasses and nobody can figure out that I've been Superman the entire time.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Superman would never dedicate his entire life to the sex trafficking, torture, and killing of children.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

That's why the Illuminati put Christopher Reeve in a wheelchair. Witchcraft and witchcraft only my friends. We know all the tricks.

MARLLER:

Do you have any sort of empathy for anybody other than yourself?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

When I was sitting in front of the lawyers staring down the face of a prison sentence, did I ever turn against my Gay Lover Donald Trump? Did you see me attempt to blackmail the President's Lawyers with Child Sex Videos? If those materials had existed during the Joe Biden Administration, don't you believe he would have used it against Donald Trump during the Election?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Wasn't Joe Biden featured on the Epstein List too? How do we know you weren't blackmailing both Presidents from the Democrat and Republican Parties?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Son of a Bitch. You see right through me don't you Doctor What. But was that really President Joe Biden in the Oval Office? Was it really him? Or did the Illuminati have Joe Biden assassinated and replaced with an Actor on Television? And if the President is an Actor, then who do you suppose was really running the United States from 2021 to 2025? Wrap your minds around that Marller Gang.

MARLLER:

Somebody please tell me this fucking asshole isn't one of the Dragon Eye's Thirteen Escaped Demons.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Thirteen Escaped Demons? What a coincidence. There just so happen to be Thirteen Illuminati Families who use their Wealth and the Occult to run Planet Earth. Wouldn't it be amazing if all Thirteen of these Illuminati Families originated from the Thirteen Escaped Demons from the Dragon Eye's Puzzle Box. That would mean that the current state of the World is entirely your fault Doctor What. Checkmate Motherfuckers. The Irony almost makes you want to break down and cry doesn't it Marller Gang.

DOCTOR WHAT:

And what makes you cry President Andrew Jackson? Is there anything that disturbs you at all?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Every time I watch Neil Jordan's Interview with the Vampire I feel like I'm watching my own biopic. That's not Christian Slater interviewing the Vampire. That's Anne Rice interviewing me. And I can't even remember the last time I watched Christopher Lambert's Highlander and didn't break down crying. That movie makes me want to blow my fucking brains out and don't think that I haven't tried. Because no matter how many bullets I put into that gun, none of them ever went off. The Demon Realm put me on this earth for a reason. Satan isn't through with me yet. They are keeping me alive for a reason.

MARLLER:

I give up. At least you offered to pay for Red Lobster.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

When I think of the Seaside Shrimp Trio at Red Lobster, I think about how Little Girls are like Shrimp. All you need to remove are their heads and you can still make use of their bodies.

MARLLER:

You figured out a way to ruin Red Lobster for all of us too didn't you?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I'm a Demon Mara. I know all the tricks to fuck with your minds and help you face down your fears.

DOCTOR WHAT:

How the fuck do you even sleep at night?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Quite soundly actually. I used to masturbate myself to sleep in my cozy little prison cell with thoughts of Donald Trump's sweet tight ass. It's not so tight anymore!

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TARDIS

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So tell me Doctor What. We've got a few hours to kill before the Live National Broadcast at the White House. And we are standing in a TARDIS than can travel anywhere on earth within a matter of seconds. Your original plan to turn me into the Austin Police Department has clearly fallen to shit. So what do you want to do about it?

DOCTOR WHAT:

You're right. We did not take the time to think this through and look where it got us. Well it's too late to back out now. The only way to go back is to continue forward through the Maze. I wonder what the Cast and Crew of Ah My Goddess would do if they were in our situation? In fact, what would Keiichi Morisato do?

MARLLER:

Please do not drag Keiichi Morisato into this mess. Keiichi Morisato already had his own Anime Series. This is supposed to be our Anime Spinoff.

DOCTOR WHAT:

What would Kosuke Fujishima do?

MARLLER:

I do not get the sense that Kosuke Fujishima cares about the Fate of Human Race. The only thing that surprises me is he isn't named on the Epstein List himself.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Has Matt Caplan been up to anything lately?

MARLLER:

Dude. Matt Caplan's only taste of success after the Ah My Goddess series is he got to play Spiderman in the Broadway Musical Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark. The Critics fucking hated that show. The Audience thought it was a technical disaster. Several of the Actors were put in the Hospital. The Legend is the show was the most expensive theatrical production in Broadway History and it lost an estimated $100 Million. I can't wait to rub it in his fucking face when we see him. I hear he lives with his wife in Los Angeles California. We should totally go there right now.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR MATT CAPLAN'S APARTMENT

DOCTOR WHAT:

Matt Caplan. You're never going to believe who we just brought back from the dead.

MATT CAPLAN:

Doctor What and Mara Marller? Is this some kind of practical joke? Did Kevin Neece put you up to this? Kodansha Ltd sent me an email detailing how some Fan Film Artist from Austin Texas attempted to use black magic to put a Witchcraft Curse on my Wife so that she would suffer a stroke and be confined to a wheelchair like Tim Curry from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I don't understand this. I don't understand this attack at all. Why would my wife need to be in a Wheelchair to give me blowjobs every night? I was already getting blowjobs. The entire reason we got married is because she was suffering from Withdrawal Symptoms and thought my Dick had the Cure in it. I have no context for why this guy is trying to do this to me. I don't even have my contact information available online. How was I supposed to know that the Witchcraft Goddesses from Ah My Goddess were real? Norse Mythology is supposed to be fictional.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Perhaps I can be of assistance. Matt Caplan. I know all about blowjobs. All kinds of blowjobs. Because Variety is the spice of life. And I've been selling blowjobs to Hollywood Celebrities just like you for decades. Believe me I've seen it all. Every kind of sexual fetish imaginable. Including Oral Sex with Crippled Women in Wheelchairs. Granted those Women were a little on the young side but you get where I'm going here. And never ever would I ask any of my potential clients to go places where I've never been myself. I'm the one who taught those Cripples how to suck dick in the first place. So I have personal hands on experience for where your marriage is going and I assure you that you are not alone in all of this. Matt Caplan. I believe in you. The World believes in you. Children believe in you. So when your crippled wife asks to suck your dick, you take her to the mat every goddamn night and you thank the Goddesses of Fate for giving you such a blessing. Because even Half a Wife is better than no wife at all. Remember me for that.

MATT CAPLAN:

Oh My Goddess. Is this man who I think he is? The resemblance is uncanny.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Believe me. We've been hearing it all day.

MATT CAPLAN:

You're President Andrew Jackson. The Man on the Twenty Dollar Bill. Can I get a selfie with you? My wife is never going to believe this.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Sure you can take a selfie with me. You can see how taking selfies with me has worked out so well for everyone else I've met. I give Actors and Celebrities memories that they can cherish on the Internet forever.

MATT CAPLAN:

God Bless You President Andrew Jackson. You are a Blessing and a Saint, just like Mother Teresa.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Keep entertaining children Matt Caplan. As long as actors like you keep setting them up, people like me will keep knocking them down. We need people like you to inspire children to go into the entertainment industry just like Steven Spielberg did with Heather O'Rourke from Poltergeist. And we all remember what happened to Heather O'Rourke on the Television Set of Rocky Road.

MATT CAPLAN:

Wait a minute. Didn't Heather O'Rourke die in the Children's Hospital from Severe Anal Trauma?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Silly me. I've said too much.

MARLLER:

Matt Caplan. Why are you such a fucking idiot? What did the Demon Realm ever do to get stuck with such an imbecile like you? We brought Jeffrey Epstein back from the Dead so we could turn him into the Authorities and force him to confront Donald Trump on Live National Television. But so far it hasn't been working out. None of the police officers seem to recognize him because they all believe he's dead.

MATT CAPLAN:

Oh My Goddess. And I just took a selfie with him too. You're not planning to release that onto the internet are you? Mara Marller, you've done a lot of rotten things throughout your career as a Demon but this might just be the worst. This right here comes right down to the line. How could you bring Jeffrey Epstein back from the fucking dead after everything that's been released about him online.

MARLLER:

That's the scary part. We didn't bring him back to life. The US Government faked his death and he's been hiding out in Tel Aviv Israel the entire time. We had a moral obligation to hunt this man down because he's the internet fad from hell that will not fucking die. Jeffrey Epstein is a Conspiracy Theory fad that should have died with him seven years ago back in 2019, but because the US Government has failed to arrest any of his clients, the American People have had no closure and refuse to sit back and let it go. The Goddess of Death from Ah My Goddess sets up and kills thousands of children all over Planet Earth on a Daily Basis like the plot of a Final Destination film. And the Human Race accepts their deaths as the Will of God. But if a man named Jeffrey Epstein does it and all of your Favorite Hollywood Celebrities secretly join in with them with no consequences for their actions, everyone on the internet begins to lose their fucking minds. I don't know how much more of Jeffrey Epstein that I can take. He's completely taken over our way of life worse than any Demon that I've ever known. The greatest trick that the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn't exist, but here he is. He's standing right in front of you right now.

DOCTOR WHAT:

The Secret of the January 6th Insurrection Riot on the US Capital is Kevin Neece stayed up all night invoking Lucifer and Hekate using Satania Mantra he found online begging them to prevent America from falling into Sedition and Treason. The next morning the Insurrection Riot happened and right in the middle of it they made an announcement online that January 6th was the 16th Anniversary of Ah My Goddess Season One. Over the course of the next year, the FBI was able to identify each and every person featured in that mob using videos and computer technology and most of them served out a prison sentence. You cannot realistically expect the American Public to believe that the FBI could not use that same video technology to identify all of the Celebrities and Clients that Jeffrey Epstein video recorded in his Child Sex Videos. There is no excuse for their inability to arrest any of his Hollywood Clients. The only logical explanation is the FBI has been using their information to blackmail all of the Hollywood Celebrities and Politicians right in front of the American Public because President Donald Trump doesn't care about it. As long as he remains a Sitting President he remains untouchable by the law. Even if the Democrats manage to impeach him we have been taught from Past Experience that nothing is going to happen to him. It's all just a show that the Government puts on for the American Public.

MATT CAPLAN:

Doctor What. I am begging you to listen to reason. Please take Jeffrey Epstein and get out of my fucking living room. I don't give a fuck where you choose to go with this. Just please don't leave him here with me.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TARDIS:

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Tick Tock Marller Gang. Tick Tock. The Ball is in your Court. You're not ready to give up on this silly publicity stunt now are you? I'm having a grand all time. In fact, I haven't had this much fun in years. Maybe I should sit down and watch Doctor Who after all when this is over. It's only been running since the 1960s so how bad could it possibly be?

DOCTOR WHAT:

You want to know what we really think about the BBC Doctor Who Television Series?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Enlighten me.

DOCTOR WHAT:

It's a fucking dismal piece of depressing shit made on a low budget that would make Ed Wood want to commit suicide out of embarrassment to his image. And Ed Wood was a cross dresser who used to make Low Budget Porn Films. They've been using the same fucking villains for decades and could not seem to come up with anything interesting until the show was cancelled in the 1980s. And to that I say Good Riddens to Bad Rubbish. The Original Doctor Who was William Hartnell and when he signed on to play the role, he didn't believe the show would last for more than one season either. You can tell that the Original Producers at BBC Television had no respect for their own Television Series either because they recorded over a large number of their own episodes and they had to be reconstructed decades later using production stills and audio recordings.

MARLLER:

The Doctor Who Television Series that you think everyone is in love with was the 2005 Reboot that was meant to showcase what the concept would look like if it had high quality special effects and production values. You can tell that their first Time Lord Christopher Eccleston had no respect for the source material that he was working with because he chose to be written out of the show after only one season, not just because he witnessed unfair practices towards the Crew Members onset, but because he felt that the stories he was being given did not live up to the legend of the original television series. Doctor Who is clearly no match for Rod Serling's Twilight Zone series. In one of the episodes, the Politicians were Farting Aliens wearing Human Skin Suits. You can clearly see with your own eyes what Christopher Eccleston was complaining about when he said the storylines didn't live up to his expectations. And considering how Awful Classic Doctor Who was due to it's low budget production values, that's saying an awful lot.

DOCTOR WHAT:

At one point Steve Martin discovered that the Producers of Reboot Doctor Who were not allowed to use the Daleks in their episodes because the Terry Nation Estate was angry about their appearance in the Joe Dante film Looney Tunes Back in Action, which was at the insistence of Steve Martin himself. When Steve Martin realized the consequences of what he had done, he wrote an apology letter to the Terry Nation Estate and they granted their permission for the appearance of the Daleks. I really wish that Steve Martin had not done that because once BBC got the character rights back to the Daleks, instead of coming up with more original storylines, they just kept finding new and inventive ways to bring back the Daleks and the Cybermen over and over again.

MARLLER:

Reboot Doctor Who did improve with the casting of David Tennant in Season Two, unfortunately, nearly all of the episodes are entirely hit or miss. Either they work like gangbusters or they are entirely unwatchable garbage. Kevin Neece owns nearly all of the Seasons of Reboot Doctor Who on DVD for Reference, and tried his best to watch all of them up until the Peter Capaldi episodes, but eventually he was forced to give up on the series when he realized that Peter Capaldi's Time Lord was a fucking Heartless Asshole.

DOCTOR WHAT:

The sad truth is that we do not like the BBC Doctor Who Television Series at all. Not Classic Doctor Who, and not Reboot Doctor Who either. Sometimes it was entertaining, but after sitting through all of the unwatchable episodes, our final consensus is it just wasn't worth it. We like the Technical Concepts of what the Doctor Who television series represents, such as the Blue Police Box that was Bigger on the Inside, it's ability to jump Dimensions, and the running joke that the Time Lord changes identities every time the Actors contract runs out. But that's all we like about that show. We took the concept and we used it to do something different with it. No more Daleks. No More Cybermen. No more Bad Wolf or Rose Tyler. We're just going to jump dimensions from one Anime Show Universe to Another searching for the Thirteen Escaped Demons just so we can have an excuse to engage in crossover episodes with Popular Anime Characters from the early 2000s like Hellsing or A Certain Magical Index. You get what I'm saying here? BBC Doctor Who did the same fucking thing over and over again because they could never escape their own formula and their same villains. And the Original Ah My Goddess Manga and Anime Series falls into the Same Trappings where it was suspended in the same time period for Thirty Years like The Simpsons and repeated the same motorcycle race gags and chaste relationship sex jokes because it refused to stray from its own formula. We say that Enough is enough. At least our Adventures are Different.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So you don't actually like BBC Doctor Who at all? You just wanted the Blue Police Box Time Machine and nothing else? How fucking lame is that? Why are you both wasting your lives impersonating a Fictional Character from a Television Show that only serves to disappoint you and pisses you both off? It's a total waste of life. Why don't you sit down and read a book or something? Books have been around for centuries. At least that life carries some sort of significant meaning to some people. Books are Educational. Books make you smarter while the Internet makes you Dumber. Nobody who has taken the time to read a good book ever complains that they have wasted their time.

DOCTOR WHO:

You've been spending a lot of time browsing the Prison Libraries haven't you?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Once the Prison Officials and Psych Ward Doctors take away your fucking iphones and your internet privileges, your daily reality begins to feel a little more sane than what's going on in the outside world.

MARLLER:

Doctor What. Are we ever going to go anywhere or are we just going to stand around all day with our thumbs up our asses talking to the world's most notorious pedophile?

DOCTOR WHAT:

What did you have in mind?

MARLLER:

Alissa Hunnicutt used to work for Disney and works in Children's Entertainment. I wonder how she would react to a visit from Everybody's Favorite Public Access Sex Offender? Can you imagine Jeffrey Epstein standing in Alissa Hunnicutt's living room after she blatantly ignored Kevin Neece's daily emails for nine years. How the hell do you both think she's going to react in that situation?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So your basic plan to pass the time leading up to the National Live Television Broadcast at the White House is to just show me off to all of your friends from the Ah My Goddess anime series? What kind of sick degenerate would find entertainment value in introducing all of their friends and business associates to a Celebrity Sex Trafficker with Political Connections to the Illuminati?

DOCTOR WHAT:

The President of the United States.

CUT TO:

EXTERIOR ALISSA HUNNICUTT'S FRONT YARD - DAY

DOCTOR WHAT:

Alissa Hunnicutt Darling. You're never going to believe who we just brought back from the dead.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

Is that man standing here before us who I think he is? Oh My Goddess, the resemblance is uncanny! You traveled back in time and found President Andrew Jackson, the man on the Twenty Dollar Bill. It is an honor and a privilege to meet you Mr President. You must know so much about our American History.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

In some ways, you might say I've been a student of American History for the Past Few Centuries.

MARLLER:

Wait a minute. I've been traveling Planet Earth for Thousands of Years. Nobody cares to know my opinions about Human History.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

Well to be fair, your personal observations about the Human Race have turned you into a complete asshole. If your misogynistic views and opinions were supported by the American Public it would take Feminism and the Women's Rights Movement down a peg or two for decades.

MARLLER:

Boy are you in for an education. The one consistent thing about Human History is no matter how much our Way of Life evolves and updates with the times, Human Nature never ever changes. Every time our Technology Advances it winds up being criticized by the General Public as a Step Down in Quality. Take Internet Selfies for example. There is nothing inherently valuable that is being contributed to society by people who take selfies of themselves and their daily meals. Photography can be an art form if you take the time to learn your craft but not if you're just going around doing the same thing that everybody else does. This man you see standing before you is considered to be the Living Incarnation of the Devil and what does he do for a living, he takes selfies of everyone that he meets.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

You may have a point there. The entire reason the Epstein Files exist to incriminate everyone in Hollywood and Politics is because I photo documented everyone that I met and worked with as if the Authorities were never going to go looking for it. If I had not been so stupid and covered my tracks, our country wouldn't be in the state it is today. If you can't see it, you can't prove it, but a picture can say a thousand words. Why do you think the corporate elites invented AI technology that can digitally manipulate photographs to the extent that the American Public can no longer tell the difference between what is real and what is AI. It's just another attempt to hide the truth from the American Public that is sitting right before their very eyes. You can show them all photos of my Hollywood Friends and all the Satanic Rituals that you want, but because AI has taken over the internet, they are now free to believe whatever the fuck they want.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

I'm confused here. Why is President Andrew Jackson talking about the Epstein Files if he's been dead since the early 1800s?

DOCTOR WHAT:

President Andrew Jackson is a Centuries Old Vampire who feeds off the Blood Sacrifices of Children and in Modern Times, he has been living under the identity of Jeffrey Epstein.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

But Jeffrey Epstein lives on Little Saint James in the Virgin Islands. The sunshine alone would be enough to kill him.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Alissa Darling, have you ever read a real book on Vampires, or are you just repeating fictional information that originated from a book written by Bram Stoker? I would point out that Bram Stoker's Dracula was directed by Francis Ford Coppola and features Gary Oldman and both of them are featured in the Epstein Files. If Count Dracula has been alive for centuries, then his attempts to seduce and have sex with Wynona Ryder would make him a pedophile, just like Michael Keaton's attempts to engage in pedophile marriage with underage teenager Lydia Deetz in Tim Burton's Beetlejuice. Tim Burton and Alec Baldwin are also featured in the Epstein Files, and Beetlejuice infamously stars Jeffrey Jones who was put on a Sex Offenders List because he hired photographers to make Nude Child Pornography that he could display in his home as art. Jeffrey Jones was left out of the Beetlejuice sequel, but was he the only guilty party involved in that movie, or was Jeffrey Jones just the one who got caught.

MARLLER:

Alec Baldwin shot cinematographer Halyna Hutchins on the set of the Western Rust. Her next project was supposed to be a documentary about Hollywood Pedophile Rings. Alec Baldwin is in the Epstein Files.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

Mara Marller. I believe you.

MARLLER:

Really? Most people take me for granted because they think I'm incompetent.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

No Mara, you may be the world's greatest fuck up but sometimes it takes an idiot to stumble upon the greater truth that's been sitting before our very eyes the entire time. Only a Centuries Old Vampire who feeds upon the Blood Sacrifices of Innocent Children would have dared to set up the Operation that Jeffrey Epstein was involved in. The entire mythology of Vampires is they don't just kill their victims, they turn their victims into Vampires just like them and that is exactly what Jeffrey Epstein did to the Hollywood Community. He seduced all of our greatest actors and directors into engaging in his crimes with him. And only an American President with ties to the Illuminati could have infiltrated and corrupted our Political Society and American Politicians in the same manner that Jeffrey Epstein did.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I'm a Demon Alissa. It's my job to seduce Innocent People to the Demon Realm. As Mara Marller told us all in the Ah My Goddess Anime Series, Human Desires are naturally more in line with Demonic Wish Fulfillments to begin with. Human Beings are born with a natural desire to Sin. That is why the Blood Sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the Cross exists to begin with. If we were all naturally innocent, then we would never need the Son of God to save us from ourselves.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

I have dedicated my entire life to the entertainment and development of Children. Because I have never been blessed with Children myself. I've spent decades looking for the right man to be with until it finally reached the point that my beauty and my looks have faded with age. Children are God's Greatest Blessing to the Human Race, and what Jeffrey Epstein and the Illuminati have done to them is the greatest perversion of God's Gift to Mankind. No Serial Killer in Human History can lay claim to the atrocities that Jeffrey Epstein has done. Infants taken from their mothers at Birth only to be blood sacrificed to Cult of Baal, the Demon God of the Caananites. And for what, just so the Hollywood Producers can make money and fame to sell their Products to more children throughout the entire world. One of your clients even told you that you could get infants to suckle more if you played tape recordings of their mothers voices.

MARLLER:

We're the Demons from Niflheim. We are not a part of the Cult of Baal. That is a completely different department that we have nothing to do with.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

How did you know that those directors from Hollywood were going to go along with you? How did you know that when you approached them they weren't going to just turn around and turn you into the Authorities?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

You think of me as a Scumbag Pimp who works with Missing Children. But I've never had to lift a finger to sell a Little Girl's Pussy to the Hollywood Elite. I am merely a Demon who works within the field of Secret Human Desires that cater to Human Sin. I don't knock on their doors and say "Hey, would you like to fly out to my island to fuck little girls." It's much more elaborate than that. Everybody has a personal angle that can be exploited. Everybody has a Secret Desire. I work to improvise to provide a product and service that caters to the wish fulfillment of those who lack a proper sexual outlet within the Hollywood System. And each person is a different opportunity, a corrupted soul looking to take a dark journey down the rabbit hole for more. And look what just happened. When my work was finished, all of their sins were made available to the general public and nobody believes it except for the Conspiracy Theorists.

DOCTOR WHAT:

I'm afraid to agree with him but he's telling the truth. More than a few Hollywood Celebrities featured on the Epstein List have had Past Scandals involving Sex Crimes plastered all over the News. It's been staring us all in the face for decades. When you see their names on the Epstein List, and you remember why they were Scandalized in the First Place, even without the Visual Evidence that they were Raping Children, it doesn't take a fucking genius to figure out why they were on that island.

MARLLER:

Al Pacino played Satan in The Devil's Advocate at the insistence of Keanu Reeves, who even took a pay cut so they could afford to pay Al Pacino's Salary. Al Pacino is in his 80s and his wife is in her 30s and together they are still having children.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Bill Cosby is in the Epstein Files. Bill Cosby played Satan in the Disney film The Devil and Max Devlin. Bill Cosby's Ghost Dad also features a scene where the Cab Driver asks him if he worships Satan and Bill Cosby tells him that he is Satan shortly before he dies. In Real Life Bill Cosby was put on trial and sent to prison for the Sexual Assault of allegations of nearly sixty women. Even if Bill Cosby never visited Epstein Island, Jeffrey Epstein developed a relationship with him as they were neighbors who owned town homes on the same street. Jeffrey Epstein even tried to buy Bill Cosby's home from him when he was facing legal troubles.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

That's just the nice kind of guy that I am. Always available to help a fellow sex offender in need. Bill Cosby was already being exploited all over the news. I saw an angle to get into his good graces, invited him to a few dinners, tried to recruit his chef, anything to help a friend.

MARLLER:

Bill Clinton's notorious claim to fame is he cheated on his wife with Monica Lewisky leading to his impeachment. The News Investigators Claim that there is no evidence that Bill Clinton visited Epstein Island but there are photos of them hanging out together, traveling together, one of their photos looks like they perform Satanic Rituals together.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

Do you really believe that Hillary Clinton is any better? Hillary Clinton was associated with 56 people who commit suicide, including one of her own boyfriends. Do you know 56 people who commit suicide because I sure don't. Hillary Clinton was also accused of having child sex investigators killed resulting in the Pizzagate Conspiracy Theory.

DOCTOR WHAT:

It's somewhat difficult to research this case based on online news reports because the Media is controlled by the Illuminati Families like the Rothschild Family and Jeffrey Epstein personally represented the Rothschilds. We found Jeffrey Epstein hiding in Tel Aviv Israel and the Rothchilds Family Members founded the State of Israel. Most of the News Articles open with Headlines that draw you in with the Idea that a Famous Celebrity or Politician or Film Studio like Disney might be guilty of involvement and then they deny their guilt at the end of the article. If the News Investigators are in the pockets of the Illuminati Families then how are we expected to believe anything that we read on the Internet?

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

I worked for Disney as a Puppeteer. The Allegations against Disney is that Disney Cruise Lines were accused of making stops at Epstein Island so that children as young as Eight Years Old could go snorkeling under a program called Captain Nautica's Snorkeling Expedition. There is no online reported evidence that Disney Cruise Lines makes any Island Stops during their Vacations. The Website that this information originates from is called Magical Kingdoms and is not run by the Disney Corporation. Any scam artist on the Internet can make a website pretending to represent Disney.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Brett Ratner was blacklisted because he was accused of Sexual Assault by several Hollywood Actresses including Olivia Munn. And the first one who hired him as a Director was my Gay Lover Donald Trump for a documentary about his wife Melania. Donald Trump is only mentioned in the Epstein Files 38,000 times. He's been accused of sexual assault by 28 women who were forced to back down because they received Death Threats. You all point fingers at me for my Friendship with Donald Trump but somebody had to fuck that man in the ass on his vacations. You're just jealous because I got to act out revenge against him that all of you can only fantasize about.

MARLLER:

Brett Kavanaugh was publicly investigated for Sexual Assault by Three Different Women and what did Jeffrey Epstein do about it? He used his Political Connections to pull strings that resulted in Brett Kavanaugh being appointed to the Supreme Court, the Highest Judicial Office in the United States. Still think our Criminal Justice System isn't rigged?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Do you all see the repeated patterns and connections here? Fellow Sex Offenders perform special favors for each other when they are put on display in front of the general public. Fellow Sex Offenders come to the rescue for each other when they are in need. It's our Secret Code of Conduct. The Old Boy's Club if you will. It's exactly like what you see in the Francis Ford Coppola film The Godfather. If you come to Don Corleone for a Favor, you are expected to perform a favor for him in return. That's how the system works for both Criminals and Politicians alike. And once again, Francis Ford Coppola and Al Pacino are featured in the Epstein Files. Francis Ford Coppola was accused of Sexual Misconduct against his actresses during the filming of his final film Megalopolis.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Charlie Sheen is featured in the Epstein Files. Charlie Sheen was accused of anally raping Child Actor Cory Haim with Crisco Oil on the set of the film Lucas. Cory Haim and Corey Feldman were sexually abused during their careers including by convicted sex offender Marty Weiss and convicted child rapist John Grissom. Charlie Sheen publicly denied the Scandal but has suffered one sex scandal after another in view of the general public. Charlie Sheen has admitted to being blackmailed and extorted for money by the various women he's has sexual relations with over the years. He claims that they drugged him while he was unconscious and took incriminating photographs of him.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

Eli Roth's name appears on the Epstein List and there is a thematic connection involved. Eli Roth is famous for a Horror Franchise called Hostel about the Murder for Profit Vacation Industry in Foreign Countries and that is exactly what Jeffrey Epstein was doing. He was allowing Hollywood Celebrities to rape and murder children for Profit. Quentin Tarantino was also a producer on the Hostel series. Quentin Tarantino wrote a Pedophile Rapist character in From Dusk Till Dawn, who sucks Liquor Off the Toes of a Stripper played by Salma Hayek. And then Quentin Tarantino cast himself in the role because it appealed to his sensibilities.

MARLLER:

Harvey Weinstein is serving out a Prison Sentence for Sexual Assault and Blacklisting Charges made by different actresses throughout his Reign of Terror Career. He's in the Epstein Files but the News Reports tried to make him look like he was innocent.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

James Franco is in the Epstein Files. He was blacklisted from Hollywood shortly after achieving Oscar Recognition for The Disaster Artist because of Sexual Misconduct Allegations against him by five different women who were led to believe that having sex with him would advance their professional careers. James Franco was also criticized for online dating a Seventeen Year Old Girl but points out that in New York City the Age of Sexual Consent is seventeen years old. Meaning it is illegal for two sixteen year olds to have sex with each other. Seth Rogan famously worked with James Franco for years all the way up to The Disaster Artist, and broke off all connections with him due to the scandal, but had no problem working with Steven Spielberg on The Fablemans as an Uncle who engaged in an Incestual Affair with Steven Spielberg's Mother. The Conspiracy Theory behind Steven Spielberg is he was accused of film industry connections to the Child Rape and Death of Heather O'Rourke from Poltergeist. I would point out to everyone however that Seth Rogan is not featured in the Epstein Files in any way shape or form.

MARLLER:

Jonah Hill's name appears in the files through coincidental association. Jonah Hill was accused of Sexual Misconduct by Alexa Nikolas, a Nickelodeon Actor. Nickelodeon makes Television Shows for Children. His lawyers retaliated against her, but Alexa Nikolas insists that she has been sexually assaulted as a child by other film industry members.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Kevin Spacey was taken to court for Sexual Assault against Four Different Men but was found Not Guilty. Three Witnesses that accused Kevin Spacey of Sexual Misconduct turned up dead leading to Online Conspiracy Theories by the General Public. Kevin Spacey admits to sharing a Plane with Jeffrey Epstein and noticed that he had Underage Girls traveling with him in connection to the Clinton Foundation. Kevin Spacey has also stated that he wants to play Jeffrey Epstein in a Hollywood Film.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

In 2022, Anne Heche and Congresswoman Jackie Walorski were both working on producing a film about Child Sex Trafficking. On August 3rd, Jackie Walorski died in a Car Accident. Then on August 11th, Anne Heche also died in a Car Accident. The Paramedics claim that Anne Heche was dead on arrival but there is online video footage showcasing that she rose up out of the body bag and attempted to escape. Instead the paramedics forced her into the vehicle. She knew too much.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Louis C.K. is one of my personal favorites. He was blacklisted for sexual misconduct allegations by five different women because he started masturbating during their conversations. Where Louis C.K. stands out from the other Hollywood Elites is he publicly admitted that the claims were true and accepted responsibility for his own actions. The first step to recovery is admittance of one's own sins, but when it comes to sexual assault, it is not our place to forgive the person responsible. The only ones who have that right are the women that he violated. Better luck next time.

MARLLER:

Roman Polanski came to fame for making the Demon movie Rosemary's Baby which put a Demonic Curse on his film career. Roman Polanski's pregnant wife Sharon Tate was murdered by the Manson Family. The Legend is he used to carry Sharon Tate's underwear around with him in her memory because he was a panty sniffer. Later Roman Polanski was famously exiled from the United States because he statutory raped a Thirteen Year Old Girl in 1973, who insists that their sexual relations were consensual and that he should be forgiven. Roman Polanski almost faced trial for his crimes in 2024 but the case was dropped when they reached a settlement. Quentin Tarantino's name appears in the Epstein Files and has a 20 year age difference between him and his wife Daniella. Quentin Tarantino claims that what Roman Polanski did doesn't classify as Rape because she was down with it. Quentin Tarantino's greatest film to date was Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which features a subplot about Roman Polanski's dead wife Sharon Tate. The movie stars Leonardo DiCaprio who is regarded by the Public as a known pedophile. Leonardo DiCaprio is in his 50s but keeps engaging in sexual relationships with women who are younger than 25 years old and it's beginning to irritate everyone just like the Age Difference between Woody Allen and his Female Costars in the 1990s. The movie also features known pedophile Al Pacino and Brad Pitt's name is mentioned in the Epstein files too because Jeffrey Epstein was obsessed with his Sex Life. Brad Pitt is reportedly 29 years older than his wife Ines de Ramon which puts him in the same pedophile bracket as Leonardo DiCaprio. Quentin Tarantino made a movie about known pedophile Roman Polanski and populated it with actors who are all known pedophiles.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Steve Martin and his wife Anne Stringfield have a 27 year age difference making their relationship pedophilic. Steve Martin's name is referenced in the Epstein Files but we don't really know why. As Kevin Neece has pointed out, Hekate Goddess of the Crossroads likes to target and manipulate the film careers of Saturday Night Live actors as a practical joke to entertain herself and Steve Martin was one of her victims.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Tom Cruise is another favorite of mine mentioned in the Epstein Files. Tom Cruise was targeted by Hekate Goddess of the Crossroads because he starred in Ridley Scott's Legend which features Tim Curry as Satan. When Tom Cruise was outed for dating Ana De Armas, it was pointed out that Tom Cruise was 62 years old while Ana De Armas was 37. Ana De Armas claim to fame is she one of the only two people to defeat John Wick. Tom Cruise's connection to the Epstein Files stems from his role in Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut which has become the subject of Conspiracy Theories about the Illuminati and the Occult. Everyone believes that what Stanley Kubrick made was a Documentary about Real Life Hollywood Occult groups and six days after he screened his final cut for Warner Brothers, he was pronounced dead. Stanley Kubrick had it written into his contract that Warner Brothers was not allowed to make cuts to his movie, but when the Cast and Crew saw the Final Film in Theaters, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were baffled to find that it was not the movie they had shot with Stanley Kubrick. The Cinematographer Larry Smith also insists that what you are watching is not the movie he shot with Stanley Kubrick. The Religious Sex Cult that you see in the movie were Pedophiles and engaged in the Cannibalism of Children, as thematically referenced by the earlier scenes where Leelee Sobieski is being child prostituted to two Japanese Men by her own Father that runs the Costume Shop that Tom Cruise visits. The Original Ending to the movie featured Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman selling their own child to the Pedophile Ring. If all of our information is correct, then Warner Brothers is guilty of violating their contract of final cut against Stanley Kubrick and because the director is dead, he can no longer defend himself in Court. Most of Stanley Kubrick's films were distributed by Warner Brothers meaning he has been working for them his entire career and look at how his Loyalty to their Film Studio was rewarded. They murdered him to gain creative control over his Last Film. Stanley Kubrick was also close friends with Steven Spielberg, who developed Stanley Kubrick's final film production Artificial Intelligence.

MARLLER:

Viggo Mortensen played the Devil Lucifer in The Prophecy before starring in Lord of the Rings for Peter Jackson. His name appears in the Epstein Files for unknown reasons although there are no sexual misconduct scandals listed about him online. Viggo Mortensen is 67 years old and his girlfriend Ariadna Gil is 57 years old but there is nothing pedophilic about their Age Difference. He doesn't fit the patterns we've been presenting.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Warren Beatty is mention in the Epstein Files. Warren Beatty is 86 years old and his wife Annette Bening is 54 meaning their is a 32 year old age difference between them, significantly higher than both Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt's pedophilic sexual relationships. Annette Bening costarred with Blacklisted Actor Kevin Spacey in the film American Beauty.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Which brings us to the Highlight of Today's Main Event. Woody Allen. The Famous Scandal behind Woody Allen is he married his ex-wife's adopted daughter Soon Yi-Previn, whom he had known since she was a child. And to make matter even worse, around the same time that this scandal hit the news, Woody Allen released a film called Manhattan where he presented himself as being in a sexual relationship with Mariel Hemingway. Woody Allen's character in the film is 47 years old and Mariel Hemingway is 17 years old, thus their relationship is a dirty secret. Mia Farrow then tried to press charges against Woody Allen for molesting her 7 year old daughter Dylan Farrow but the Investigating Police did nothing under the claims that the video footage she shot looked like she had been couching her child on what to say for the police in between takes. Woody Allen's defense is that the incident was supposed to have taken place in their attic and Woody Allen suffered from Agoraphobia, an intense fear of places where you feel trapped or isolated. Adding to the Demon Realm connection Mia Farrow was the main star of Rosemary's Baby by Known Pedophile Roman Polanski. As the years went by Woody Allen's audience began to notice that as he continued to grow older in his films, his female love interests co-stars continued to remain in their twenties once again leading to accusations of pedophilia. Woody Allen is now being accused by Online Conspiracy Theorists of Incinerating Twelve Children just like the Jewish Children in Nazi Concentration Camps. The Irony in these accusations is that Woody Allen is a Jewish Film Director. Wrap those accusations around your minds.

MARLLER:

Martin Scorsese is also name referenced in the Epstein Files although there are no sexual misconduct allegations against him. Martin Scorsese made Taxi Driver with Robert De Niro, which features a controversial subplot where Disney Child Actress Jodi Foster plays a Child Prostitute. Robert De Niro is named in the files, and there are online videos claiming that he is featured in over one million documents, but there are no articles online supporting this evidence. Robert De Niro is also famously Anti-Donald Trump lobbing Insults at him throughout most of his interviews. Robert De Niro is no longer married but his current girlfriend Tiffany Chen who shares a child with him is currently 46 years old while Robert De Niro is 82 years old. That's a 36 year age difference making him one of the highest ranked pedophiles in the group. Robert De Niro introduced Martin Scorsese to Child Actor Leonardo DiCaprio when they worked on the movie This Boy's Life back in 1993. Leonardo Di Caprio grew up and replaced Robert De Niro as Martin Scorsese's Main Actor in all of his movies and now he has the reputation of a Known Pedophile.

DOCTOR WHAT:

I've got one last film to point out to all of you. Steven Spielberg produces Children's Films through his company Dreamworks Pictures, one of which is an Animated Movie called Shark Tale. Will Smith is not listed in the Epstein Files, but he did play The Devil Lucifer in the 2014 film Winter's Tale. Renee Zellweger is referenced in the Epstein Files for unknown reasons but publicly insists that she never gave Sexual Favors to Harvey Weinstein for Movie Roles. Jack Black is known Satanist from the Devil Worship Band Tenacious D who frequently makes childrens films for Dreamworks Animation and nobody takes any issue with it. Robert De Niro and Martin Scorsese are in the film. Angelina Jolie was once Brad Pitt's wife and she frequently sent Jeffrey Epstein emails inviting him to her private screenings and film parties between 2014 and 2017. While Angelina Jolie is not known for her Sex Scandals, her tastes in S&M Sex was reportedly too brutal for both Billy Bob Thornton and Brad Pitt to handle. Jeffrey Epstein reportedly had two foreign girls strangled to death during fetish sex and buried near his Desert Ranch, meaning that Jeffrey Epstein was engaging in the same kind of punishment inflicting sex that Angelina Jolie herself was attracted to. The Thematic Connection between Shark Tale and Jeffrey Epstein is it features many actors who are name referenced in the Epstein Files, and most recently Jeffrey Epstein was accused of feeding his child death victims to the Sharks through a trap door leading to the ocean on Epstein Island.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

That does it. No more. I've had enough of this for one evening. You brought this monster back from the Pits of Hell... and your first instinct was to BRING HIM TO MY HOUSE! Why the fuck did you bring him here to me? What the fuck do you expect me to do about this? I don't know what to do with this sick and twisted fuck!

MARLLER:

I know exactly what we're going to do with him. We're going to turn him into the FBI on Live National Television right in front of Donald Trump himself.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

What kind of stupid plan is that? Do you idiots ever think about the consequences of your actions? The Entire Reason America is in this mess in the first place is because the FBI has been obstructing the investigation in the first place to protect all of the Wealthy and the Elites!

DOCTOR WHAT:

Well to be perfectly fair, it seemed like a Great Idea on Paper until we actually went out and tried to do it in Real Life.

ALISSA HUNNICUTT:

Well Riddle Me This Covfefe! How do you expect this plan to work on Live National Television when past experience should tell you that Donald Trump will cut off the broadcast! Every time a reporter tries to interview him about the Epstein Files he either cuts off the interview or has the reporters thrown out of the White House! Donald Trump doesn't give a flying fuck if his actions make him look guilty in front of the American Public! He's learned from Past Experience that he has Presidential Immunity for his Crimes!

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Darling Alissa. Sweet Sweet Alissa. You're not the only one in America who feels this case is pointless. For all of the fun that I've had throughout my career as a Sex Trafficker, I did not completely get away with my crimes. But at the end of the day, no matter how many political connections that I had, it did not save me from the guillotine when my name went viral in front of the general public. Many people are on my list, but you are not one of them, and that is because your empathy and love for children may have saved your life while my love for raping and torturing children has led to my public damnation. You get to walk away from your meeting with the Devil and go back to your life with Puppet Shows and Children. You get to turn your back on the world and pretend that it doesn't concern you. I was in love once with a woman named Ghislaine Maxwell, and just like the Demons from Ah My Goddess and their Human Lovers, Fate separated the both of us just like the Judgment Gate. I may be a free man but Ghislaine Maxwell is still in prison, and her only way out is to testify before Congress. Does my wife have the Courage to perform the final job that I couldn't. Will the Illuminati who controls the US Government system sit back and allow Ghislaine Maxwell to name names. Or is she going to wind up dead in her prison cell like I did? Because at the end of the day, I was just the Middle Man running this operation. And once they took me down, the Sex Trafficking Industry adapted to my absence and kept right on running without me. You want me to face Donald Trump so that my clients will be held accountable. But who is going to stand up to the people who took over my job? How are the Goddesses of Fate planning to put the Illuminati in their place. Remember me for that Darling Alissa. Remember me for that.

DOCTOR WHAT:

We've still got a few hours before the National Live Broadcast. What are we supposed to do now?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Tick Tock Marller Gang. Tick Tock. What do you do when you set out to perform a plan, and your plans fall apart before your very eyes? You make up a new plan and try again. Sooner or Later the Odds have got to turn in your favor.

MARLLER:

I know a man who knows all about Public Scandals and Sexual Misconduct Allegations. We need to hunt down Tim League, the Former CEO of Alamo Drafthouse. Maybe he can figure out what to do. Tim League has been working with Hollywood Actors and Directors his entire career for decades. He might be an Exploitive Bastard Guilty of Unethical Behavior as a CEO, but he's not featured on the Epstein List. And for man with his Career Background in Cinema, that has to be an accomplishment.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TARDIS

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So tell me Marller Gang. What's your interest in Tim League from the Alamo Drafthouse? Do you know him personally? Did any of you used to associate with him?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Kevin Neece started his career in the Entertainment Industry working as a Dishwasher at Alamo Drafthouse Lake Creek and ever since then he has been obsessed with this corporate cocksuckers's movie theater vintage programming and theatrical preshow video mixtapes as far back as 2009. What he tried to do to that company is the ultimate example of why it is not wise to pursue people who clearly have no interest in you. Kevin Neece figured out that the Alamo Drafthouse was pirating their preshow source material off of YouTube and local Video Stores, and theorized that if you took descriptive notes during the preshows, you could find the same material online using a descriptive search, stream rip the videos, and put them back together again. And you could do all of this without incriminating yourself because you are simply taking notes on your order cards instead of using an Illegal Video Recording Device. Kevin Neece took the theater for nearly 350 preshows and lived to tell about it without being arrested for it. But look at the price he paid for his revenge on their Creative Staff. Nobody in the Film Industry will respond to his emails because he has blacklisted himself as a known Theater Pirate. When Kevin Neece posted all of the Preshow Bootlegs online for public reference, the Alamo Drafthouse disowned them because they had been tampered with during the creative process and were not the exact same preshows that they were showing in their theaters due to the usage of alternate source materials and replacement clips.

MARLLER:

Alamo Drafthouse had no issue with Kevin Neece collecting their preshows until he informed them that he needed to turn himself into the FBI as an informant on his father's whistleblower case against the Trump Administration EPA. Instead of simply banning him from the theater for pirating their preshows, their staff members tried to blame his mental health problems claiming that his pacing up and down the hallways were making the staff members nervous. Since Kevin Neece and the Alamo Drafthouse have parted ways back in 2018, he has since discovered that Regal Metropolitan Theater screens daily repertory films just like Alamo Drafthouse and has never looked back. So as you can tell, Tim League is going to be happy as a pig in shit to see all of us. I can't wait to see the look on his face when Jeffrey Epstein walks into the lobby of his theater.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE SOUTH LAMAR - DAY

DOCTOR WHAT:

Tim League. You are never going to believe who we just brought back from the Dead.

TIM LEAGUE:

Oh Bullshit Artist. You didn't bring anybody back from the Dead. Jeffrey Epstein never committed suicide. The US Government faked his death and he's been hiding out in Tel Aviv Israel the entire time playing Fortnite. What do you think we are, stupid or something? We're Alamo Drafthouse Creative, it's our job to study Hollywood Pop Culture and Conspiracy Theories on Internet Social Media.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Oh My Goddess. We've found one who can see.

TIM LEAGUE:

It doesn't take a genius to see that you came here to pick a fight with me. How fucking original of you. Go on then. Let's hear it. Spit it out. I've been working these Theaters for Decades and I've already heard it all. I've heard every complaint and allegation known to man. There is virtually nothing that you can say that I haven't already heard before.

MARLLER:

We kidnapped Jeffrey Epstein under Citizen's Arrest so we could turn him into the FBI on Live National Television and force him to confront President Donald Trump in view of the General Public. But everyone keeps insisting that we haven't thought our plan through and it's headed towards disaster. You've been dealing with Sexual Misconduct Scandals and Hollywood Celebrities your whole career. Put yourself in our place, if you had one shot to do the right thing in front of the Entire Nation, how would you deal with a man like Jeffrey Epstein?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Yes, tell me Tim League, how does the Former CEO of the Greatest Theater in America deal with the Notorious Jeffrey Epstein? It's so easy for all of you to talk trash about me on the internet while I was locked up in prison, but back when I was in a position of political power, none of you would have stood a chance against my connections. My friends could make you and your children disappear in thin air, right in front of the general public. You think you're morally superior to me? How so? We both work in the entertainment industry. Our lives revolve around people who make movies. You exploit your Servers and Employees as a Corrupt Company CEO to appease the Hollywood Community, and I exploit Children to appease the desires of Hollywood Celebrities. But the one thing that thematically connects us both is we both love to travel to foreign countries and we both love to party with Hollywood Celebrities. Fantastic Fest is famous for being the most Attended Party on Planet Earth. Hollywood Celebrities and Film Producers from around the World visit Austin Texas every year to just to Party with the Alamo Drafthouse. But ask yourselves this? Are the same Hollywood Celebrities who attend your Fantastic Fest Parties the same Hollywood Celebrities who attended my Parties on Epstein Island? If the entire Hollywood Community has secretly been under the control of a Satanic Child Blood Sacrifice Sex Cult, then does that mean that you've been inviting these Pedophiles into your Theaters as Guest Speakers for your entire career? Do you really know in your heart what goes on behind closed doors? Do you not depend on these same people for the Hollywood Entertainment that appears on your Cinema Screens?

TIM LEAGUE:

Doctor What. Mara Marller. You are both correct about me. My connection to people like Harry Knowles and Devin Faraci put me and Karrie League in a position where we both didn't understand how to deal with Sexual Misconduct Allegations from our Staff Members, and because we felt empathy towards our close friends, their scandals bottle necked over the years to the point that I was forced to remove myself from the general public online and eventually step down as the CEO of Alamo Drafthouse. You came to me for advise on how to deal with Jeffrey Epstein. This is the best advice that I can give you. Run. Run away as far as you can. You need to distance yourself from this man immediately and never look back. Jeffrey Epstein is a Marked Man for Life and everybody that he meets becomes corrupted and incriminated with him through mere association. You both may believe that you are trying to do the right thing with this publicity stunt, but what you have both overlooked is that from the moment you both came into contact with him and took him into your custody, you both incriminated yourselves right along with him. What you are doing right now is called aiding and abetting an Escaped Convict, and no matter what story you attempt to tell the Authorities when you turn him in, they are going to charge you both with a Felony and send you to Prison with him. Jeffrey Epstein already knew this from the moment you showed up at his Apartment in Tel Aviv Israel, and he went along with you without question because he knew what was going to happen to you when you did it. You think you've got the upper hand on him but you don't. Jeffrey Epstein set you up from Square One. He's been playing chess with you the entire time while you've both been playing checkers. It's time for you both to Wake Up.

MARLLER:

But Tim, you don't understand. We already tried to turn him into the Police. We were standing in the middle of the Austin Police Department in front of everybody and nobody believed us because they all think Jeffrey Epstein is dead. The Police Officers even gave him money to take selfies with them. They said his likeness is uncanny and they practically paid for our whole meals at Red Lobster.

TIM LEAGUE:

Oh My Goddess. If they took selfies then they already have photographic evidence on you. If you were standing in the lobby of the Austin Police Department then they've already got you on camera. How many people have you visited today?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Well, we visited the Austin Police Department. And then we ate at Red Lobster and the Waitress took selfies with him. And then we took a side trip to Los Angeles California to visit Matt Caplan and Alissa Hunnicutt from the Ah My Goddess Anime Series, and Matt Caplan took a selfie with him too. So then we just came back to Austin Texas and showed up at your Theater. That about covers it.

TIM LEAGUE:

Gee, I am so flattered that you both felt the need to involve me in all of this. Did Kevin Neece put you up to this stunt? He's been out to get us as far back as 2010 but he hasn't taken us down yet.

MARLLER:

Oh yes he did. Kevin Neece petitioned Hekate and the Three Fates to put a Witchcraft Curse on Tim League on Halloween Night as revenge for what you and Lars Nilsen did to Anne Heller in Court. Less than a month later, Alamo Drafthouse filed for bankruptcy, closed down the Ritz Theater, and you were forced to sell your company to a Corporation that was scandalized in the News for running abusive foster homes.

TIM LEAGUE:

And on that note, Jeffrey Epstein, here at the Alamo Drafthouse, our theater was founded on the principle that we cannot please everybody and if we wanted to make the movie going experience more special for movie loving audiences everywhere, certain unwanted clientele needed to be ejected from the theater without a refund, usually for talking and texting. What I'm basically saying is: it's time for all of you to leave. Because the minute you walk out that door, I'm going to do the only responsible thing left to save myself from the Guillotine. I'm going to turn myself into the Austin Police Department as a Witness and hope they will overlook our conversation here today. Jeffrey Epstein. Fuck you and the Horse You Rode In On You Child Murdering Bastard. And Doctor What, Good Luck to You on Your Quest for the Thirteen Escaped Demons. Remember Marller Gang. Run. Run Away as Far as You Can. You need to Distance Yourself from this Man while there is still time. Now Get Out.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TARDIS:

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Tick Tock Marller Gang. Tick Tock. So now that you've heard the verdict from God's Savior to Cinema, do you both still think that it is a good idea to go through with this? There is absolutely no shame in backing out if you're both staring down the gun of a prison sentence. Believe me, I've been through the judicial process and it fucking sucks. All you have to do is push a few buttons and we will safely arrive back at my apartment in Tel Aviv Israel within minutes, and to show you that I'm not such a bad guy, I'll even take you both out for a night on the town. So what do you say Doctor What. Are you still prepared to go the distance on this adventure? Are you still willing to take the Notorious Jeffrey Epstein to the mat? Do you both really hate President Donald Trump so much that you are willing to throw your freedom away just to flip him off on Live National Television?

MARLLER:

As long as we're jumping around the United States waiting for the Live National Television Broadcast at the White House, I can think of somebody that we should pay a visit to in Long Island City New York. Lloyd Kaufman from TROMA films is an activist independent filmmaker who speaks out against Political Corruption and Environmental Corruption. But it's too easy to voice your opinion on the internet these days. I've always been curious as to what Lloyd Kaufman would do if he ever came face to face with the Actual Villains that he criticizes in his movies. Lloyd Kaufman is nearly 80 years old, and probably does not have much time left on this earth. It would be a total missed opportunity if he never got to meet this piece of work that we're traveling with.

CUT TO:

TROMA FILMS OFFICE BUILDING - LONG ISLAND CITY NEW YORK

DOCTOR WHAT:

Lloyd Kaufman. You are never going to believe who we just brought back from the dead.

LLOYD KAUFMAN:

Is that who I really think it is? Oh My Goddess, the resemblance is uncanny. It's President Andrew Jackson, the Man on the Twenty Dollar Bill! Do you both realize what this means! It's finally happening! We are witnessing the rise of the Zombie Apocalypse and it's happening in New York City right now like the plot of a Lucio Fulci movie! George Romero was right all along! When there is no more room in Hell, the Dead will Walk the Earth!

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I could see why that logic would make sense to Lloyd Kaufman.

MARLLER:

Relax Lloyd, it's just Jeffrey Epstein.

LLOYD KAUFMAN:

How the fuck is that supposed to make me relax! Jeffrey Epstein is even worse! Now the Zombie Apocalypse is recruiting Pedophiles from the Illuminati!

DOCTOR WHAT:

Well, it's like this. Lloyd Kaufman, you've dedicated your entire film career to calling out the Hollywood System and the Corporate Conglomerates who control and destroy our Planet for Greed and Profit. But when Kevin Neece approached you with evidence that he had become involved in a real environmental corruption case like the San Jacinto Waste Pits, you never responded to him or weighed in on the matter. You of all people should know what Dioxin is and how it poisoned the water supply in Houston Texas and gave everyone living in the general area cancer. Because Dioxin was mentioned by one of the villains of Apocalypse Incorporated in one of the Toxic Avenger movies. As a fan of your movies, I'm very sorry to say that I find myself questioning your sincerity about Environmental Issues. Do you really care about these things, or are your rants against the Corporate Conglomerates just a publicity stunt that you perform to help sell more DVDs.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Being that I worked for the Rothschild Family who were the inspirational basis for the Illuminati, that would make me the closest comparable thing that you will ever meet to the Chairman of Apocalypse Incorporated in the Toxic Avengers movies. And it would be a total missed opportunity if we didn't put this to the test. Lloyd Kaufman, you talk a lot of trash, but what happens when a controlling member of the Illuminati is standing in the room right in front of you face to face. If you have anything that you've ever wanted to say to me in person, well here I am. This is your one and only chance to put your money where your mouth is. So let's hear it Lloyd Kaufman. Let's see you take Jeffrey Epstein to the mat.

LLOYD KAUFMAN:

Actually, I do have a question to ask. Every time a witness from the Hollywood Film Industry has attempted to stand up to the Film Industry Sex Traffickers, they all wind up dead. I've been calling out the Illuminati my entire life and so far I've made up to the age of 80 years old. Kevin Neece's father tried to whistleblow an environmental corruption case and died at the age of 67. So I've got to ask, what makes me so special? How did I manage to survive all of these years without being assassinated by the Illuminati? What protected my daughters and my grandchild from being targeted by scum like you?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

It's certainly a mystery. David Mayer De Rothschild made a documentary about the Child Sex Trafficking Industry called Playground back in 2009, and as of 2026 he is still alive and worth $500 Million. And all of the information that these people have attempted to expose is already being stated by millions of people on the internet. The Illuminati can't kill all of them. The best we can do is discredit them with Generative AI so that nobody can tell if the photographic evidence is real.

LLOYD KAUFMAN:

Oh really. Then how about you explain these pictures that have been circulating around the internet featuring Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton and Bill Gates participating in Satanic Rituals. And are those the bodies of dead children lying on the floor in the room with them?

SHOW THE PHOTOGRAPHS

LLOYD KAUFMAN:

Hillary Clinton ran her Presidential Campaign on the Premise that she was a Faithful Christian. What the fuck is she doing in the middle of a Satanist Ritual and why is her name featured in the Epstein Files? The General Public might not be able to tell if these photos are real because of Generative AI, but do you know who could? Kash Patel from the FBI. The Authorities have all of the Original Photographic Evidence Hard Copies that were scanned up into the online Epstein Files, so theoretically they would have the ability to know if those photos are real or fake.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

And now you know why I volunteer to take selfies with everyone I meet.

MARLLER:

TROMA films claims to be blacklisted from the Hollywood Film Industry and Kevin Neece is a blacklisted filmmaker himself because he bootlegged 350 theatrical preshows from the Alamo Drafthouse. Kevin Neece's theory is that because Lloyd Kaufman depends on Theaters like Alamo Drafthouse to screen his films, he has been afraid to converse with Kevin Neece out of fear of his films being banned from Alamo Drafthouse by Tim League. Lloyd Kaufman also spent his entire retirement savings to finance the production of Poultreygeist Night of the Chicken Dead only to lose money on the film due to Internet Piracy. So tell me Lloyd Kaufman, how did you get blacklisted from Hollywood in the first place.

LLOYD KAUFMAN:

It's been well documented in my books and interviews but I can point out a few things off the top of my head. The main one that comes to mind is back during the Television Broadcast of the Saturday Morning Cartoon Toxic Crusaders, our show was a Hit Series and New Line Cinemas expressed interest in producing a Live Action Toxic Crusaders film, which means the plot would have revolved around Actual Environmental Issues. But no, the Corporate Conglomerates couldn't allow that to happen. So instead New Line Cinema dicked us along with the project so that they could leverage the rights for a third sequel to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film Turtles in Time, which they did. The final film they made was fucking terrible, and TROMA films got screwed out of our Live Action Toxic Crusaders movie, which was supposed to be our first collaboration with a Major Hollywood Studio. So we took New Line Cinema to court and sued them for $50 Million Dollars for reneging on their contract with us. TROMA films lost the lawsuit and despite shopping our Live Action Toxic Crusaders to other Film Studios and Other Producers, the film never happened.

DOCTOR WHAT:

TROMA Films was the original theatrical distributor for Studio Ghibli's My Neighbor Totoro until Disney took over distribution and English Voice Dubbing for all of Hayao Miyazaki's movies. If My Neighbor Totoro had been a Theatrical hit when TROMA had it, they might have become the Distributors for all of Studio Ghibli's films today instead of Disney.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

TROMA films was also sued by filmmaker India Allen over a film called Tales from the Crapper for Slander, Sexual Harrassment, and Emotional Distress. Lloyd Kaufman frequently showcases himself verbally abusing and screaming at his film crew, most especially in his movie Terror Firmer so this doesn't surprise me at all. India Allen successfully took TROMA films for $1.5 Million over a Film Production that only cost $250,000 and half of the footage shot was unusable. I would also point out to all of you that the Original TROMA building featured in the DVD Extras of their early films is a much more expensive building than the Storage Unit Office that we are currently standing in right now.

DOCTOR WHAT:

TROMA films recently produced a Big Budget Remake of The Toxic Avenger with Peter Dinklage and Kevin Bacon. And Kevin Bacon is one of the names featured in the Epstein Files although we don't know why. I just thought that was kind of weird. TROMA has avoided Hollywood Productions for years and when they finally attempted to make one themselves, look what happened.

LLOYD KAUFMAN:

So funny that you should point that out to all of us Kinky Finklestein. Now let me ask you, where did you get the Gall to include me in an AI Animated film production after I specifically banned the use of Generative AI at Tromadance for a fucking reason! You want to know the Real Reason I hate Generative AI in Filmmaking! Because it represents the Future! And TROMA Films doesn't have a Future! We are being Systematically Blacklisted by the Entire Hollywood System because we refuse to take shit from the Corporate Conglomerates that have the Hollywood Film Studios in their Pockets! Nearly all of our Independent Films were removed by Amazon Prime and YouTube because they weren't making enough money to their liking! These Independent Filmmakers who come to us are not paid for their work, they do it because we are the only ones they trust to distribute their films! There are other places they could go but they don't, they all come to us! If the Hollywood Distributors were approaching them with Distribution Deals with Big Financial Payoffs, don't you believe that these Independent Filmmakers would have taken up their offers! That would be the smart thing for them to do to advance their professional careers! But no! They put their trust in us! What do you think is going to happen to all of these Independent Filmmakers when Michael Herz and Lloyd Kaufman die of old age and are no longer around to defend themselves against the Corporate Hollywood System! Do you really think that TROMA films is going to survive after we're gone when Generative AI is cancelling out Professional Hollywood Productions and putting the Professional Hollywood Crew Members out of work? Just because Generative AI is the next evolution of filmmaking does not mean that the filmmaking community has to sit back and take it up the fucking ass when the people who are forcing their AI Slop down our throats are the Same Fucking Assholes who associate with Pedophilic Scum like Jeffrey Epstein in the first place! Shame on you Kinky Finklestein! You haven't just betrayed TROMA films! By associating with Jeffrey Epstein, you have betrayed the entire United States of America!

DOCTOR WHAT:

Everybody on the Internet has their own personal opinions about Generative AI, and as Lloyd Kaufman is in charge of the TROMADance Film Festival he is well within his rights to disqualify all of the Generative AI Film Entries. But we didn't submit this film to your TROMADance Film Festival did we Lloyd? We submitted it to the Entire United States Congress to piss off the Illuminati. You do not have the right to force your beliefs on Kevin Neece's Creative Control Decisions presented in this movie. And just because we disagree with your creative decisions does not mean that we don't still love you or respect you for the work that you've done for the filmmaking community.

LLOYD KAUFMAN:

You were blessed with the power to travel through time and space and other dimensions, including both versions of the Afterlife. Which means that you could have used your power to resurrect any number of people from the dead! You could have brought back John Lennon from the Beatles! You could have brought back Lemmy from Motorhead! You could have brought back Freddy Mercury from Queen! You could have brought back Martin Luther King Jr or Malcolm X or John F Kennedy! You could have brought back any number of the Child Sex Trafficking Victims that Jeffrey Epstein viciously raped and murdered in Cold Blood! And who did you choose to bring back from the dead? The Most Notorious Pedophile in US History! What the fuck did the United States of America ever do to you to deserve such a Vicious Insult like that!

MARLLER:

Everybody on the internet was complaining that the US Government killed Jeffrey Epstein to silence his testimony against the Trump Administration. You would think that all of them would have been thrilled to hear about his suicide on the news, instead they were all disappointed because it meant that all of his Sex Offender Clients would walk away unpunished. We were just trying to give the general public what they want. But what we have all learned from this experience is that sometimes what you think you want to happen is not what you really want at all. The Nature of Human Behavior is that sometimes we don't know what we really want, and the real reason why we will never be happy is because we will always be stuck with ourselves. So be careful what you wish for, because once you open Pandora's Box and unleash the Ultimate Evil Back into the World, there is no going back. Believe me, we know. We've been trying for the past nine years.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Lloyd Kaufman, are you okay, you look like you're about to suffer a Heart Attack?

LLOYD KAUFMAN suffers a Heart Attack and falls to the floor.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So, as you all have witnessed, Lloyd Kaufman finally had his chance to face down the Head of Apocalypse Incorporated from the Toxic Avenger Universe. After years of criticizing the Corporate Conglomerates and the Illuminati Families, Lloyd Kaufman finally went face to face with a man who represented them, and look what happened to him. Lloyd Kaufman has been threatening to blow his own brains out for years, blaming it on virtually everyone but himself, only to fall short to his own worst enemy and die of a Heart Attack. Tick Tock Marller Gang. Tick Tock. The Ball is in your Court.

CUT TO:

FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON DC

CHRISTOPHER WRAY:

Kash Patel Sir. We've been receiving disturbing reports from the Austin Police Department that we think you should hear. You're not going to believe this. Tim League from the Alamo Drafthouse walked into the Austin Police Headquarters and tried to confess to them that he had a face to face encounter with Convicted Sex Trafficker Jeffrey Epstein in the Lobby of his South Lamar Theater. And Jeffrey Epstein was being held under Citizen's Arrest by a Blond Woman that was cosplaying as an Anime Demon named Mara Marller, and Actor Corey Feldman who claimed that he was the Time Lord from the BBC Doctor Who Television Series. At first they all thought that Tim League had lost his goddamn mind until Tim League pointed out to them that Jeffrey Epstein had been standing in the lobby of their own police headquarters earlier that day and took selfies with several of their own officers who didn't recognize him. All of them thought he was an impersonator and even paid for their Entire Meal at Red Lobster. The police investigated into the issue only to discover that Tim League was telling the truth. If Tim League was delusional and making all of this up, then how did he know that the selfies they took were real when none of them had been posted online?

KASH PATEL:

That doesn't surprise me. Nearly all of the Online Conspiracy Theorists have been under the impression for years that Jeffrey Epstein's Suicide was a Government Cover up. Somebody in charge of his death certificate fucked up on the paper work and listed the date of his death one day before his suicide actually happened and nobody has made any attempt to correct that mistake. There have also been photographs passed around online theorizing that Jeffrey Epstein has been hiding out in Tel Aviv Israel playing Fortnite. Jeffrey Epstein worked for the Rothschild Family who were the Founders of the State of Israel. Are we sure that Jeffrey Epstein is really dead?

CHRISTOPHER WRAY:

Corey Feldman really was a Victim of Hollywood Sexual Predators. Several of the Managers he worked with during the 1980s are Convicted Child Molesters. And he attempted to blow the Whistle on the Hollywood Pedophile Ring with a Documentary called The Rape of Two Coreys only to watch his public screening get sabotaged. And afterwards they chased him out of the country like a lynch mob. Everyone criticized him online for trying to capitalize off of his information instead of just going on live television and naming names. It sounds like Corey Feldman would be caught dead before ever aiding and abetting a Convicted Sex Trafficker like Jeffrey Epstein. His only motivation for even being in the same room with him would be if he was trying to fuck Jeffrey Epstein over.

KASH PATEL:

If Corey Feldman knew Jeffrey Epstein's whereabouts in Tel Aviv Israel and he was trying to fuck him over, what stopped him from simply putting a bullet in his head? He's not trying to fuck over Jeffrey Epstein. He's attempting to use Jeffrey Epstein to fuck over the FBI and the President of the United States. Corey Feldman is trying to fuck all of us right in the ass and make us look like a bunch of idiots.

CHRISTOPHER WRAY:

It gets even stranger. Based on Tim League's information, other people have come into contact with Jeffrey Epstein within a matter of hours. All of them were located in different states across the United States, but the time frame for their encounters happened within hours of each other. Jeffrey Epstein confronted Voice Actors Matt Caplan and Alissa Hunnicutt in Los Angeles California. Jeffrey Epstein was in the Austin Police Department Headquarters Lobby in Austin Texas. Jeffrey Epstein came into conflict with Lloyd Kaufman from Troma Films in New York City, and during their encounter Lloyd Kaufman became so angry and stressed out that he suffered a Heart Attack and dropped to the floor. Lloyd Kaufman is currently being held under medical observation in the St. Francis Hospital & Heart Center in Long Island City. They don't know if he's going to pull through. Everybody that Jeffrey Epstein has come into contact today is connected to the Ah My Goddess anime series and Kevin Neece lives in the Austin Texas Area.

KASH PATEL:

Kevin Neece has spent the past nine years attempting to reach out to the FBI and the CIA under claims that the Mythology Goddesses who inspired the Ah My Goddess anime series were real because they murdered his father Jim Neece two days into his retirement vacation just as he was prepared to come forward as a whistleblower on the San Jacinto Waste Pits Cleanup Project. The Goddesses have been entertaining themselves for the past few decades by setting up and killing all of our favorite Hollywood Actors under circumstances that could only be described as Stranger than Fiction and Coincidental. Kevin Neece also publicly claims that somebody on our staff with the right connections and access clearance had him erased from our records to protect him from Arrest because he classifies as a Criminal Informant, and they didn't do it because they were trying to protect him, they were trying to obstruct his investigation. Kevin Neece also believes that because the Goddesses were Real, Kosuke Fujishima made a Devil's Bargain with them for his Manga Series because it doubled as a Sacrificial Offering of Publicity for them and all of his personal observations about the Goddesses were fictionalized into his Manga meaning that all of the technical elements that you see on display in the anime show are real, most notably the System Force where Random Acts of Fate jump out of the wood works to prevent you from doing something, implying that we have been secretly living in a Virtual Simulation the entire time. When Kevin Neece pointed out to the Austin Police Department that his Goddesses were responsible for arranging the Deaths of Ten Austin Police Officers, they showed up at his house and tried to have a group of Mental Health Professionals discredit him and none of them were able to explain the witchcraft coincidences that he pointed out to them. Make no mistake. If Kevin Neece is right, and he has made contact with the Characters from Ah My Goddess that have real life counterparts, what makes you think that he hasn't been taking advantage of his Witchcraft Connections to set all of us up for the kill?

CHRISTOPHER WRAY:

Sir, by all appearances, Mara Marller and Corey Feldman are planning to go the distance and fuck over the United States of America in front of the Entire World. If they can bypass the Airport Security Checkpoints and travel from place to place within a matter of minutes, how are we supposed to track them? If they are planning to make Jeffrey Epstein confront the President on Live National Television, what prevents them from infiltrating the White House and doing it? Even if we take them into police custody at the Press Interview, we are still going to have to explain ourselves to the general public if Jeffrey Epstein makes it onto the Live Television Broadcast. If we attempt to cut off the News Feed while Jeffrey Epstein is Live on the Air, it will make all of us look Guilty in front of the American Public. Kevin Neece might not be traveling with them in person but you can be damn sure that he's the one who orchestrated this stunt. The Real Question that we need to ask ourselves right now is, should we intervene in this matter to try and stop him at all? If we were to play our cards right, this publicity stunt could accidentally play out to our advantage.

KASH PATEL:

We've been trying to battle Government Corruption in this case for years, and no matter what we attempt to throw in Donald Trump's direction, he keeps finding ways to shoot us down. Every time a Famous Hollywood Producer or Politician Attempts to expose the Hollywood Sex Trafficking Elite they all wind up dead on the news. We could attempt to capture Jeffrey Epstein and the Marller Gang by guessing their next moves, but we could also sit back and let them get away with it on Live National Television by doing nothing, and they might succeed where all of us have failed. Once they are in the White House, they'll have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. We could wait to arrest them and take them into custody after the fact.

CHRISTOPHER WRAY:

That's funny. Christoph Waltz did the exact same thing in Inglourious Basterds.

KASH PATEL:

What's so funny about that?

CHRISTOPHER WRAY:

Inglourious Basterds features Christoph Waltz, Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger, and Quentin Tarantino. And all of those Actors are mentioned in the Epstein Files.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TARDIS:

DOCTOR WHAT:

Well Marller. It's exactly as you foreshadowed. Lloyd Kaufman didn't have much time left on this earth due to his old age. And now we're the fucking idiots who probably killed him. I hope you both feel really good about yourselves.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Lloyd Kaufman exploited and degraded the work of William Shakespeare at least twice during his career. Having said that, if it wasn't for Tromeo and Juliet, James Gunn never would have risen through the Hollywood Ranks and had a Film Career.

MARLLER:

You can criticize James Gunn all you like but his name was never mentioned in the Epstein List. James Gunn was offended that Disney Films invited Convicted Sex Offender Victor Salva to a Script Reading and during the Performance, he tweeted out jokes about how Victor Salva liked to perform oral sex on little boys which is why his horror movie Clownhouse is so disturbing. You can see how Victor Salva sexualizes the child actor in the movie with your own eyes. And to make matters more frightening, Victor Salva is friends with Francis Ford Coppola who visited him in prison and continued to produce his movies. Francis Ford Coppola is on the Epstein List. So what happens? James Gunn's tweets about Victor Salva were dug up by the internet years later and Robert Iger from Disney fired him off of the production of Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 without a fair trial or proper research. And then the news reporters dug up photographs where James Gunn held a Celebrity Costume Party designed to make fun of the Television Show To Catch a Predator. And despite all of these scandals, James Gunn's name is still never mentioned in the Epstein Files. He was simply a victim of circumstance. Eventually his fanbase filed so many complaints that Disney rehired James Gunn to develop Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 and now he is the head of DC Studios.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So who's the next Ah My Goddess associate on the list?

MARLLER:

Have you ever heard of Urd's Voice Actress Shannon Conley? She's a Lesbian Rock Star from Austin Texas that used to perform cover songs for Lez Zeppelin and she worked with a Jazz Band too. She also played a Trans Male in Hedwig and the Angry Inch on stage.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Hey, I'm always supportive of the Lesbian Community.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Since when have you ever held any respect for women that were your own age? The only reason you would appreciate Lesbians is because you're a fucking pervert who gets off on watching two women fuck each other.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

What the fuck are you babbling about? Everybody enjoys watching two Lesbians fucking each other. You just described half the population of Planet Earth.

MARLLER:

But nobody appreciates or respects a Feminist who hates Men. So it's kind of a Two Edged Sword.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR SHANNON CONLEY'S APARTMENT

DOCTOR WHAT:

Shannon Conley. You are not going to believe who we just brought back from the dead.

SHANNON CONLEY:

Oh My Goddess. Is that who I think it is? The resemblance is uncanny.

MARLLER:

Yes Shannon, we traveled back in time and kidnapped President Andrew Jackson just so we could bring him to your apartment for no logical reason.

SHANNON CONLEY:

Did Kevin Neece put you up to this? I keep receiving emails from him about some sort of Death Curse he tried to place on one of the Band Members of Lez Zeppelin. He believes that Skuld is going to target one of them if he keeps invoking her to watch a Traci Lords movie called Shock Em Dead. He's been screening it into his Black Mirror on a Loop for weeks like he keeps expecting something to happen.

MARLLER:

What the hell has Kevin Neece been doing lately? It's like he's trying to fulfill my christmas list or something.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Well well well, if it isn't Shannon Conley from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Six Inches Forward and Five Inches Back, I've got an Angry Inch.

SHANNON CONLEY:

When the hell did President Andrew Jackson find the time to watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch? Isn't he from the early 1800s?

DOCTOR WHAT:

It's not President Andrew Jackson. It's Jeffrey Epstein. We've brought him back from the Dead and we're preparing to make him confront Donald Trump in front of the FBI on Live National Television and we've come here seeking your advice.

SHANNON CONLEY:

Wait a minute. That's Jeffrey Epstein?

MARLLER:

Yes, President Andrew Jackson is Jeffrey Epstein.

SHANNON CONLEY:

The Notorious Pedophile Jeffrey Epstein?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Yes. The Notorious Pedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

SHANNON CONLEY:

You brought Jeffrey Epstein back from the Dead just so you could bring him here to me?

MARLLER:

Let's just say this is going to be our gift to the world.

SHANNON CONLEY:

Hey Amber Martin, get in here. We've got a visitor.

AMBER MARTIN:

Is that President Andrew Jackson?

SHANNON CONLEY:

No, that's Jeffrey Epstein. They brought him back from the dead just for us.

AMBER MARTIN:

You don't mean...

SHANNON CONLEY:

The one and the same.

AMBER MARTIN:

Opportunities like this clearly don't come along every day.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Well I am a man of opportunity. I believe in the American Dream.

SHANNON CONLEY:

We believe in Golden Opportunities and the American Dream too Mr Epstein. And when the Goddesses of Fate drop such a Golden Opportunity like this on your Doorstep, you've got to learn how to strike while the iron is hot.

AMBER MARTIN:

Are you thinking the same thing that I'm thinking?

SHANNON CONLEY:

Amber get the Turkey Carver. I'm going to cut Jeffrey Epstein's dick off.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Oh hey, I can see we came at a bad time here. I can tell when I'm not wanted.

MARLLER:

What the fuck are you babbling about? We just got here.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Yeah, that's like wasting gas on multiple unnecessary trips to the grocery store.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Haven't you ever heard of Prisoners Rights and Witness Protection?

MARLLER:

You don't need your dick to confront Donald Trump on Live Television. What were you planning to do, whip it out in front of United States Congress?

SHANNON CONLEY:

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty. Mama's going to take you to the Vet and have your furry little balls cut off!

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Doctor What! This is not the Super Happy Fun Time Magical Sci Fi Adventure that you promised me!

DOCTOR WHAT:

Are you fucking kidding? In the next ten seconds this is going to turn into the Best Episode we ever made. I bet Ah My Goddess fans everywhere would pay full price theater admission to see a Stupid Plot like this!

AMBER MARTIN:

I couldn't find the Turkey Carver, how about a Serrated Bread Knife? I knew I was saving this thing for something. We don't even have a Bread Machine.

MARLLER:

You might want to hunt down a Hot Iron to cauterize the wound. We wouldn't want this Child Molester to bleed out all over Shannon Conley's carpet.

AMBER MARTIN:

Holy Fuck, you think of everything don't you Mara Marller.

MARLLER:

What can I say, I'm an Audience Pleaser.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Okay you guys. This is not funny anymore.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Hey you're the one who wanted to meet Shannon Conley. Be careful what you wish for asshole. Voice Actors are not the Fictional Characters they play on Anime Shows.

MARLLER:

But if your penis means that much to you, I'm sure that Shannon Conley can box it up for you in a Doggie Bag and you can take it to go. Then you can present it to United States Congress.

SHANNON CONLEY:

Hey Amber, how much do you think they'll pay us for Jeffrey Epstein's severed penis if we sell it on the Dark Web Black Market?

AMBER MARTIN:

Well there's only one way to find out.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I'm sorry Doctor What! I'm sorry for everything!

DOCTOR WHAT:

Not as sorry as those children you incinerated with Woody Allen. Ladies, he's all yours.

MARLLER:

Six Inches Forward and Five Inches Back, I've got a, I've got an Angry Inch!

CUT TO:

INTERIOR HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM

MARLLER:

I can't believe it. Shannon Conley actually cut his dick off. And then they sold it on the Dark Web for a Million Dollars. I thought she was just playing with him.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Do you think he'll still be operational for the National Live Television Broadcast?

MARLLER:

I don't know. How long does it take a man to heal and recover from having his manhood cut off?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Tick Tock Marller Gang. Tick Tock.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Are you fucking kidding me! How the fuck did you get back so quickly?

MARLLER:

You must be hopped up on a lot of Morphine right now.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Couldn't afford morphine. I couldn't give them my real identity, so I couldn't present them with Health Insurance. They just bandaged me up and sent me packing.

DOCTOR WHAT:

What did they give you to cope with the pain?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

They gave me a little red sampler bottle of Chewable Tylenol. And then they laughed at me behind my back as I walked out the door. They didn't even want to take a Selfie with me. I feel so rejected right now.

MARLLER:

I've never believed in the Almighty's Love for the Human Race before. But Shannon Conley has shown me the light. Shannon Conley really is a Goddess from Heaven isn't she?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Well if it's any consolation to the both of you, I did have this coming to me. So it looks like we both lost out on life today. I lost my manhood, and you lost your chance to confront Donald Trump on National Live Television. I'm sorry that this didn't work out for the both of you. I know you went through a lot of trouble at my expense to see this through. And you did it because you both loved the American Public.

MARLLER:

Oh My Goddess. President Andrew Jackson, I think it's time that we both came clean about something. We don't actually have any love for the American Public.

DOCTOR WHAT:

We're Both Demons from Niflheim Dude. I was named after a goddamn Frost Giant from Norse Mythology called Mokkurkalfi. A Japanese Pedophile named Kosuke Fujishima re-invented my image for his Oh My Goddess manga, and then the entire general public forgot about me like I never existed.

MARLLER:

The only real reason we wanted to do this is because you became an Internet Fad that annoyed the living fuck out of both of us. We've been working on this Ah My Goddess fan film spinoff for Nine Years and we can't get anybody on the internet to take us seriously. But look at you dude. You fucked and murdered Children for your Dayjob and Half of Hollywood and the US Government treated you like you were fucking Royalty. When most Pedophiles get sent to Prison, the other Prisoners pull a fucking train on them, but not you dude. They left you alone because they thought they needed you as a witness against the Hollywood Elite. And then the fucking President of the United States faked your death and gave you a one way ticket to Tel Aviv Israel so you could live out your retirement playing Fortnight.

DOCTOR WHAT:

I never thought I could be jealous of a Notorious Pedophile's Popularity but you clearly struck a chord through this nation. I don't think the United States of America is prepared to ever forget about the Things that you've done with Donald Trump and the Hollywood Elite.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So that's it then. I'm stuck here with the both of you until you decide to take me home? You are going to take me back to Tel Aviv Israel right? You wouldn't castrate a guy and leave him on the streets with no money would you? The ball is in your court Doctor What. Either we go forward with a New Plan or We Go Back to Square One. Tick Tock Doctor What. Tick Tock.

DOCTOR WHAT:

What new plan. I don't have a new plan. This was the only plan I had.

MARLLER:

Our plan was always destined to self destruct before our very eyes. Alissa Hunnicutt said it herself. Everyone who confronts Donald Trump with the Epstein Files gets shut down and kicked out of the Interview.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Let me ask you something. Did Wiley Coyote ever catch the Road Runner?

MARLLER:

You're not thinking interdimensionally President Andrew Jackson. If Wiley Coyote ever caught the Road Runner, the cartoon shorts would immediately end with nowhere left to go.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Did Wiley Coyote ever stop chasing the Road Runner because his plans blew up in his face?

DOCTOR WHAT:

You are the fucking Road Runner. The Authorities have been after you for decades. And look where it got them.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Is Wiley Coyote the Villain in those cartoons? Or is the real villain the Road Runner because he represents the unobtainable dream? America was built on dreams. We chase them. We don't always achieve them. But it's not our success in life that matters. It's the journey that gets you there. What happens when your car runs out of gas in the middle of the desert. Do you wait for AAA to find you in the middle of nowhere? Or do you get out and walk to the next gas station?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Why the fuck would you want to help us? Shannon Conley and her Gay Lover just cut off the only thing you ever loved.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I must admit that my penis was a fun toy to play with. I've certainly had a lot of fun with it over the years. But Age catches up with all of us. And I miss being a Villain. Do you really believe that I enjoy playing Fortnite in Tel Aviv Israel? Has it ever occurred to you that after spending the past few years in a prison, that I might miss the life? The Illuminati doesn't need me anymore. Jacob Rothschild died and went to hell for his crimes. He's been getting fucked up the ass day and night by a gay personal assistant named Smithers because somebody showed those Demons The Simpsons. I am never going to see my wife again. It's just like the plot of Ah My Goddess. The Judgment Gate finally separated us because I fell in love with a human. But yeah. I'm living the high life, banished to Tel Aviv Israel so I can spend the rest of my life playing Fortnite. That's my real reward for being a villain. I completely deserved to lose my penis for all of the crimes I've committed. Goodbye Penis. It was nice knowing you.

MARLLER:

I'm sorry. Are you expecting the both of us to feel sorry for you? You fucked and murdered children for a Living. Our last crossover episode was with Helluva Boss and if Blitz and Stolas had been here, Blitz would have dismembered your sorry fucking ass with a chainsaw. We already saw what happened to America the last time you died in prison and believe me, no matter how fucking horrible you were in life, the world has become a much darker place without you in death.

DOCTOR WHAT:

It's exactly like you told Tim League. An Adventure is only as Good as its Villain. You were never a likeable villain. But you were a memorable one that drove the United States of America into Nonstop Discussion and Conspiracy Theories. Your life has meaning. It took a lot of dead children to get you there. And if you don't come back, the Illuminati is just going to go out and kill a lot more. Eight Million Children go missing every year. And it's entirely because of Demons like you.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

What's the matter Doctor What. I thought you just told me this was hopeless. I thought that your one and only master plan just fell apart before your very eyes. I thought it was pointless for Wiley Coyote to chase the Roadrunner.

MARLLER:

We're not trying to chase the Road Runner. We're trying to chase Donald Trump. Jeffrey Epstein and Jacob Rothschild had their time. Fate has taught both of you a lesson. And as long as President Donald Trump is protected under Presidential Immunity, he is never going to learn his if we pass up this one time opportunity.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Tick Tock Doctor What. Tick Tock. The Ball is in your Court right now.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Well, we do have a working Time Machine. I suppose it wouldn't kill us to travel back in time to the set of the National Live Television Broadcast.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

And if you do go through with this, how are you both planning to keep Donald Trump on the air?

MARLLER:

We'll give them a Performance that they can't turn away from. Something that the News Media will talk about for decades. But in order for this to work. We're going to need a Villain. Somebody that will piss off the entire world.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Do you understand now why Wiley Coyote chases the Road Runner?

DOCTOR WHAT:

Are you asking us to chase you?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I'm asking the both of you to meet me halfway. Alissa Hunnicutt is absolutely right. There is no guarantee that this plan has any solid chance of working out. But wouldn't it be fun to go out and do it anyways? If Satan wanted me dead, I wouldn't be alive right now. I would be burning in hell right along with Jacob Rothschild. Perhaps my life does have a purpose. Perhaps I needed to be chased by someone like the both of you. Nobody on this earth has the ability to do what you can. So it's time for Everybody's Favorite Public Access Time Lord to do what he does best. Tick Tock Marller Gang. Tick Tock. The Ball is in your Court.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR WHITE HOUSE

DONALD TRUMP:

Is somebody at the Door? You can come in now.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

It's me. President Andrew Jackson. Your old former Gay Lover.

DONALD TRUMP:

What are you doing back from the dead? I thought you were banished to Tel Aviv Israel so you could spend the rest of your days playing Fortnite. That was our deal.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I'm haven't come here to attack you. I just needed to see you. We need to talk. Nothing funny. Just talk.

DONALD TRUMP:

No President Andrew Jackson, I think we've talked more than enough. We can't be seen together anymore.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I need you to know right now, that even though we were separated from each other all those years ago. I've never stopped loving you. You are my soul mate Donald Trump. My partner in crime. Some of my best memories involved me penetrating you deep into your ass and I remember how it used to fill you with happiness too.

DONALD TRUMP:

No President Andrew Jackson. The reason why you enjoyed fucking me in the ass so much is because it gave you sexual pleasure. The experience was never mutual on my end. We just did it to fulfill your sexual desires because I needed your connections. But that was a different time. That was then, and this is now. You're the reason why I'm forced to wear Depends everyday. You fucked me in the ass so much that I was never able to close it shut again. Everybody knows President Andrew Jackson. Everybody makes fun of my Depends on the internet. And it's all because of you. That's not love President Andrew Jackson. That's just pure evil. You must be a Vampire from the 1800s because you have completely sabotaged this nation, and I'm the one that's been taking the blame for your actions all of those years ago.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Please listen to me Donald Trump. Please hear me out. I'm still in love with you. I think about us and what we had day and night. And when I slept alone in prison cell, what got me through my lonely nights were the thoughts I had of fucking your sweet tight ass. You me and Ghislaine Maxwell, we're three of a kind. And together we were the Three Amigos. We shared that connection. I think we could still share it again. You don't need the Presidency anymore Donald Trump. You pursued your Oval Office because it represented a Trophy that you could place on your Mantel of Success. But does this job actually make you happy? Are you able to sleep at night knowing the entire world wants you to choke to death on your meals at McDonalds? The President's Office is a trap Donald Trump. You believe it's the highest honor in this Nation but make no mistake, they will turn against you when it's over. Just like they all turned against me. Believe me I have personal experience in all of this. I know better than anyone else. The reason why I've come here today with a proposition, is because I've just met somebody that can give us both a way out. A Time Lord with a real working operational TARDIS from the Doctor Who Television Series. And that means escape. If you pardon Ghislaine Maxwell, the three of us can disappear into the night to another universe and never return. We can start over together. We can make our own success far into the future where mankind has evolved. Think of the possibilities Donald Trump. We can travel to the Afterlife and bring back Dead Celebrities, Dead Historical Figures, and Dead Politicians. And people will pay us good money to do it. Doctor What has been sitting on an untapped financial resource and doesn't even realize his full potential, but I do. Because I'm a visionary. We don't need Doctor What anymore. He doesn't even like Doctor Who. But I totally get it now. I could be the next Doctor Who.

DONALD TRUMP:

So tell me President Andrew Jackson. Is it really me that you are in love with? Or are you just obsessed with fucking my ass? The FBI told me about what happened to you today at Shannon Conley's House. I'm sorry to hear that you lost your penis. I know that it was one of your favorite toys to play with and I'm sure that you are going to miss it. But you are never going to fuck me in the ass ever again. As far as I'm concerned, Shannon Conley just performed a Public Service for the United States of America. If you attempt to press charges against her for violent assault, I'm going to give her a Presidential Pardon just to flip you off. I'm sure Ah My Goddess fans everywhere would pay full price theater admission to see a stupid plot like that.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

But this is love Donald Trump. True Love. I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it more than ever.

DONALD TRUMP:

And this has nothing to do with me granting your wife Ghislaine Maxwell a Presidential Pardon? Because I've checked with my lawyers and it is well within my rights and authority to do it. I don't give a fuck what the general public thinks of me.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

You would do that for me?

DONALD TRUMP:

Not so fast. If you want me to perform this favor for you, you're going to have to perform a favor for me. Just like Don Corleone in The Godfather.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Anything Donald Trump. Anything for you.

DONALD TRUMP:

I want you to get down on your knees and suck my Presidential Dick right here in the Oval Office.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Didn't President Bill Clinton get impeached for that?

DONALD TRUMP:

No. President Bill Clinton was impeached because he lied about it to United States Congress. Just for the sake of experimentation, we're going to go in the opposite direction. You say that you want to be my Gay Lover. Then let's see you suck my Presidential Dick. And I don't mean in secret behind closed doors. I want everyone in the United States of America to know about it. When I stand before United States Congress to testify about what happened here, I'm going to tell them the Truth about what we did here tonight. Only then I will consider granting your wife Ghislaine Maxwell a Presidential Pardon and afterwards you can both fuck off to Tel Aviv Israel where you will be spending the rest of your retirement playing Fortnite. And for the record, I would never watch Doctor Who if they cast you as the fucking Time Lord. Not in a million years. I would use my Film Industry connections to get your fucking Doctor Who spinoff cancelled.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

So that's it then. It's over between us. There's no going back for the both of us.

DONALD TRUMP:

No Oral Sex. No Presidential Pardon. Ghislaine Maxwell can spend the rest of her fucking life rotting in that prison cell. You've been fucking me in the ass for decades. It's time for you to face your destiny and suck the Presidential Penis. I'm going to make you famous just like Stormy Daniels.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TARDIS

DOCTOR WHAT:

So how did your secret meeting go with President Donald Trump? Were you able to talk some sense into him? Is he going to resign his role as President of the United States?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

He wanted me to suck his Presidential Penis in the Oval Office in exchange for pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell.

MARLLER:

Did you actually go through with it?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

No. I've got more dignity than that.

DOCTOR WHAT:

So what are we planning to do about this?

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

We're going to turn myself into the FBI on Live National Television. And then I'm going to testify against the President in front of United States Congress and give up the names of all my clients that were raping and murdering children on Epstein Island.

MARLLER:

But that means you'll be going back to prison for the rest of your life. All we have to do is press a few buttons and you'll be back in your apartment in Tel Aviv Israel.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I don't want to spend the rest of my life in Tel Aviv Israel playing Fortnite with Ghislaine Maxwell. I want to be held responsible for my crimes in front of the general public. If there is a Hell, and you Two Demons are from it, then that's all I need to know to try and turn my life around. I don't need to see Niflheim with my own eyes. I will gladly take your word for it that it exists.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Oh My Goddess. I think I understand this now. You were actually in love with him. And he rejected you. You're upset because you're suffering from a broken heart.

MARLLER:

But you were already having Gay Sex with President Donald Trump to begin with. All you had to do was suck the Presidential Penis and you would be re-united with your wife Ghislaine Maxwell again.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Ghislaine Maxwell is more than likely going to testify in front of United States Congress in my place. If there is any small shred of morality left in my body, I will not stand back and allow her to do it alone. I will be right by her side when she does it. And then we can both fuck off back to prison for what we did to all of the Children in America.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Anybody can change their license President Andrew Jackson. Anybody can change their life. And even a Demon can try to make amends.

MARLLER:

I don't know about that. He's killed a lot of children throughout the centuries.

DOCTOR WHAT:

You're right. Fuck this guy.

CUT TO:

EXTERIOR NATIONAL LIVE NEWS BROADCAST EVENT STAGE

DOCTOR WHAT:

Wake up people and use your eyes! Don't you recognize who this man is?

KASH PATEL:

Oh My Goddess! He's right! It's been staring us in the face all along! How could we be so stupid? How could we be so blind? This man is clearly Andrew Jackson, the Seventh President of the United States! But how could this be? Andrew Jackson lived during the early 1800s!

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

I'll tell you exactly what's going on! A Group of Demons from Niflheim calling themselves the Marller Gang showed up at the White House in a Time Machine, and they kidnapped me in the middle of dinner so that they could bring me here to your Time Period and pass me off as a Notorious Pedophile named Jeffrey Epstein. Their plan was to turn me into the Authorities under the claim that the US Government faked my death in prison and force me to provide False Testimony against the President of the United States!

KASH PATEL:

But that doesn't make sense! That doesn't make sense at all! He doesn't look anything like Jeffrey Epstein! He's clearly the same man featured on the Twenty Dollar Bill!

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

That's what I've been trying to tell everyone all night! Allow me to introduce you to the Real Villains behind this escapade! Allow me to introduce you all to Doctor What! He's Everybody's Favorite Public Access Time Lord! Or should I call him by his real name: The Puppeteer Mokkurkalfi! This man is a Demon who built a Time Machine to trick a bunch of Theatrical Producers into making a Television Show about him called Doctor Who so that everyone would believe he was a work of Fiction, and then he used his New Identity and Popularity to launch a Nationwide Terrorist Attack on the US Government! His Time Lord Performance Act is all a big disguise for the Demon Realm to target and exploit Children! They are trying to discredit the US Government and Theatrical Actors Everywhere by spreading Conspiracy Theories about Secret Satanic Cults and Freemason Pedophile Rings! Well your reign of terror is officially over Marller Gang! The Authorities and the US Government have the entire building surrounded and you've got no way out!

DOCTOR WHAT:

You've got to listen to me! Yes this man is really President Andrew Jackson, and yes we did travel to his Apartment in Israel and kidnapped him in a Time Machine from Doctor Who, but we didn't travel back in Time to the 1800s to do it! He's been living among us in our Century all along! President Andrew Jackson is a Immortal Vampire who has been living off the Blood and Dead Bodies of Tortured Children for their Adrenochrome. And he's been financially supporting himself by black marketing their Adrenochrome to Hollywood Celebrities so they can keep their Eternal Youth just like him. President Andrew Jackson is Jeffrey Epstein! And Jeffrey Epstein is President Andrew Jackson! They have been the same person the entire time. Jeffrey Epstein didn't die in prison! The US Government faked his death because they are all complicit in his Pedophile Operation! That's why Kash Patel and the FBI haven't made any arrests in the Epstein Investigation! They're using their Case Evidence to Blackmail all of the Politicians and Hollywood Actors!

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Do you hear this nonsense Ladies and Gentlemen? Doctor What doesn't even try to deny it! Whose side do you believe the FBI are going to believe Doctor What? Riddle me this Marller Gang! No Sitting President in the History of America has ever been arrested regardless of their political crimes because they have Presidential Immunity. Which means...

KASH PATEL:

He's telling the truth. We cannot press charges against a President of the United States, not even if he undergoes impeachment. And as President Andrew Jackson is the Seventh President of the United States. That means...

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

Surprise Motherfuckers! So tell me Doctor What! How were you and Mara Marller planning to weasel your way out of this situation? Did you really think that your plan could fool an entire nation of politicians on live television! I'm talking about Good Loyal Upstanding Christians working to serve the will of the American People! They're the Real Heroes of America Doctor What! And you are nothing but a Common War Criminal posing as an Anti-Hero! You want to know why you foolhardy idiots are in over your head right now! Because I've been playing chess with you all day while the both of you have been playing checkers! There's nowhere for you to run and nowhere for you to hide! You came here claiming to save the United States from Jeffrey Epstein, but in your plans you've both overlooked one little detail, who is coming to save all of you!

SKULD:

I am. I'm the one who will stand between you and the Marller Gang. Doctor What wasn't the Only Demon to be fictionalized into a Children's Television Show. I'm the Norse Goddess of Death who takes Dead Soldiers to Valhalla, and because of my involvement in the Ah My Goddess anime series, I know all about having my image exploited for Child Pornography made by Pedophile Hentai Artists. And I assure you all that none of those evil motherfuckers ever got away with it. We hunt down every one of those pedophiles and made sure they met their end in a Japanese Prison Cell. Just like you President Andrew Jackson! We've always wondered why you never showed up in the Afterlife when you were supposed to have died in the early 1800s! Just like Jeffrey Epstein never showed up in Niflheim when his death was reported in the social media news! It would appear that those who fail to learn from history are truly destined to repeat it!

JEFFREY EPSTEIN:

You're the one who is going to stand up to me. You can't even get on the Roller Coaster at the Amusement Park because of the Height Restrictions.

SKULD:

Sadly true. But I do have a talent for making homemade explosives and Hand Grenades. And in the next ten seconds. All of the Children that you Raped and Murdered are going to come back from the Afterlife and Suicide Bomb the FBI.

KASH PATEL:

Wait. What did she just say?

MARLLER:

Skuld, are you aware that this is a Publicity Stunt?

SKULD:

This is Show Business Marller. Nothing gets higher ratings than Tragic Deaths and Terrorism on the Six O'Clock News. Especially when it involves the Murder of Police Officers and FBI Agents.

DOCTOR WHAT:

Skuld, we were totally joking.

SKULD:

I'm not joking. I'm ready to suicide bomb Kash Patel on National Live Television. That man was placed in his Position of Power because he physically looks like a fucking idiot. And I have absolutely no morals when it comes to a Sex Offender like Jeffrey Epstein.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR NEWS BROADCAST

NEWS REPORTER:

Tragedy has struck at the White House today when the President of the United States Live Interview Broadcast was hijacked by a man claiming to be President Andrew Jackson from the 1800s. Doctor What and the Marller Gang used their time machine to travel back in time and kidnapped the Seventh President of the United States so that they could pass him off on Live National Television as Notorious Sex Offender Jeffrey Epstein. Right in the middle of the Broadcast, the Press Interview was attacked by a Mob of Children armed with Hand Grenades and they proceeded to Suicide Bomb the FBI Agents present at the Press Interview. There are nearly fifty victims found lying in the Aftermath Wreckage. And making matters even stranger, all of the dead bodies of the Child Terrorists were identified as Rape Victims from the Epstein Island Investigation. Kash Patel, Director of the FBI, and President Andrew Jackson were also found dead. Doctor What, Mara Marller, and Skuld the Norse Goddess of Death were nowhere to be found. President Donald Trump could not be reached for comment. During the Press Interview, President Andrew Jackson announced that Doctor What's real identity was a Demon from Niflheim only known as The Puppeteer Mokkurkalfi. The FBI and the United States Government have placed Doctor What and the Marller Gang as a Top Priority on the FBI's Most Wanted List. If Mokkurkalfi, Mara Marller, and Skuld are captured, all three of them will be facing the Death Penalty for the Crime of Treason against the Presidency of the United States. If anyone has any information on the location and whereabouts of Doctor What and the Marller Gang, they are strongly encouraged to call the FBI's Anti-Terrorism Tip Hotline. I don't know what to say about all of this. There are no words.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR TARDIS - OUTER SPACE

MARLLER:

So tell me Doctor What. Now that it's all over and we've failed miserably, are you happy that you tried to do the right thing. We've just been permanently exiled from our own time period under penalty of death, does this fill you with regret. You once told us that anybody could change their license. Anybody could change their life. And even a Demon could turn over a new leaf and make amends. How has that been working out for you so far? Do you feel good about yourself? Are you finally happy?

DOCTOR WHAT:

No Mara. I'm not happy. This entire Super Happy Fun Time Magical Sci Fi Adventure has been a Nihilistic Downer from start to finish. It's all true. Life doesn't thank you for doing the right thing. More accurately Life torments you just for entertaining the very thought of it. But that's not why you do the right thing. You do it because it needs to be done. So we failed to make a difference. We're not the only ones to stand up to the Illuminati and have our voices silenced. There are thousands of women who survived the Jeffrey Epstein Sex Trafficking Ring and nobody from the general public believed them because the Corrupt Politicians kept withholding and redacting the evidence files. When these women were running out of Hollywood Parties screaming about Celebrities Blood Sacrificing Children and Cannibalizing them for Baal, did the Police listen to them? Or were they all sent to the Psych Ward and silenced? Was it all for nothing? Did anybody take the time to listen at all?

SKULD:

I listened... I saw everything that you both tried to do today... I saw it all and I was by your side every step of the way... even when you didn't know I was there. Every Person in America has fantasized about bringing Jeffrey Epstein back from the Dead and making him testify against the Hollywood Elite. But only you two had the ability to actually go out and do it. I saw every one of you go face to face with the Devil himself and no matter how hard he tried to tear you down, you took him to the mat over and over again. And you took your reckless plan all the way to the end and held him responsible in front of the entire nation. Everyone in America saw what you did. Because we hijacked the broadcast with the System Force and kept you on the air. So you've both been exiled under the Penalty of Death. Are you under arrest right now sitting in a Prison Cell? You're standing in a Time Machine where they can't get to you. You can go anywhere you want, far into the future where none of these people will exist anymore. You can go far into the past before they've ever been born. You can still go the distance if you don't give up and continue to meet God halfway.

MARLLER:

You're forgetting else. Something very important that you've overlooked. You got Jeffrey Epstein to do the one thing he wouldn't do for the FBI. You got him to run his mouth and tell you everything. And in his diatribes, he revealed one piece of logic that makes perfect sense. The Thirteen Illuminati Families that are destroying Planet Earth were founded by the Thirteen Escaped Demons who escaped from the Dragon Eye's Puzzle Box. Do you realize what this means? We now know where to find them, because the family lineage of the Thirteen Illuminati Families can be tracked. And we've got a time machine. And what have we learned about the Illuminati Families? They give worship and child blood sacrifice to Baal the Canaanite Demon. The Almighty and Jesus Christ have been at War with Baal since Early Biblical Times. We know who is responsible for all of this. We can still find the Thirteen Escaped Demons and bring their Reign of Terror to an end. We just have to keep going.

SKULD:

Everybody has a Fate. Everybody has a Destiny. Everybody has a Story to Tell. Even a Child Murdering Bastard like Jeffrey Epstein. Or should I call him President Andrew Jackson?

DOCTOR WHAT:

That's all well and good. But there appears to only be three of us left. Who is going to help us take down Baal the Canaanite Demon?

JESUS CHRIST:

So funny you should ask. Perhaps I can be of assistance.

MARLLER:

Who the fuck are you?

JESUS CHRIST:

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the Real Life Historical Inspiration for Jesus Christ. And I hear you've been looking for me for Centuries. So let's get to work shall we?

CUT TO:

DEATH NOTE CAMEO

RYUK:

To the United States Congress. In response to the Allegations of the Illuminati Occult Conspiracy Group depicted in the film, allow me to offer you some thoughts.

According to the rules of the United States Constitution, the United States Congress are not hired to do their jobs by the Rothschild Family. They are hired to do their jobs by the Citizens of the United States. The United States Congress are not supposed to be employees that answer to the Rothschild Family. And even if they were, Jacob Rothschild is now dead. And the United States Congress does not work for him anymore even if they ever did.

The Entire Reason that our Founding Fathers established Colonies in the United States of America and went to war against Great Britain was to establish their own individual nation that would not have to answer to the Tyranny of a Royal Family. This entire idea is completely undermined and deeply insulted by the fact that our Modern Day Politicians who were hired to protect us are being controlled and influenced by a Wealthy Family of Pedophilic Child Murdering Occultists who are established in Great Britain. A Family who has been repeatedly accused of financing both sides of our historical wars including the Napoleonic Wars and the American Civil War allowing them to profit no matter what the outcome. I would point out to you however, that because the Rothschilds are a Jewish Family, they were not in collaboration with Adolph Hitler and the Nazi Party. Their family was targeted by the Nazis because they were Jewish.

As you have all noticed due to the Epstein Investigation, the United States has secretly been at war with the Cult of Baal for decades, who have infiltrated and influenced our Hollywood Producers and Politicians into engaging in Child Sex Trafficking Rings, Child Blood Sacrifice, and Ritualistic Child Cannibalism. And there is no middle ground in this war. Either you work for the Parents and Children of the United States who hired you to work for them. Or you are guilty of aiding and abetting the Sex Offenders because the FBI is protecting them from Criminal Prosecution. By protecting the rights of these Sex Offenders, you have given them all a free pass to continue their Sexual Assault and Ritualistic Murders against the Children of the United States and their Parents, which makes all of you Guilty of a Crime by Association.

Kash Patel and the FBI have the names of the people responsible and have refused to make any arrests. And many of the Rich Sex Offenders named in the Investigation have sought Asylum by moving to different states where the Death Penalty is not imposed for the Crime of Child Sexual Assault. If the United States Congress does not do their jobs, then I am left with no choice but to step in and perform your jobs for you. I am now in charge of making the Hard Decisions that you are all unable to make yourselves. And when I am finished performing this Public Service for the Unites States, I am not going to discriminate between who was innocent and who was guilty. I am going to take them all overnight and let God sort them out.

Once again, we are all at War with the Cult of Baal, and when you are at War, Innocent People are always going to get caught in the crossfire whether you want it or not, because that is the very nature of War. And just because you are trying to protect lives does not give you the right to sit back and allow the Enemy to do whatever the fuck they want to your own Citizens.

The Cult of Baal is based on Ritualistic Child Blood Sacrifice, which classifies as an act of Homicide. Their Entire Religion classifies as a Federal Crime, and therefore has no right to claim protection under the Disguise of Religious Freedom. If the United States Congress wants to win this war, they are going to have to make the Hard Decision to impose the Death Penalty against any United States Citizens who are engaging in the Cult of Baal. It is not because they are Jewish, it is because they are pedophiles who are murdering children to advance their professional careers.

If the United States Congress wants to win this war, they are going to have to re-instate the Death Penalty for the Crime of Child Sexual Assault in All Fifty States to prevent the Sex Offenders from seeking asylum.

You can point fingers at Jeffrey Epstein all you want for starting this mess, but at the end of the day, Jeffrey Epstein was just an employee and the people who he worked for were the Rothschild Family were are named in the Epstein Files nearly 11,000 times. The Rothschilds are not your friends. What they just did to the United States was nearly identical to the tactics employed by Hydra against Shield depicted in Captain America The Winter Soldier. And that makes the Rothschild Guilty of Treason against the Children of the United States.

If the United States Congress wants to win this war, they are going to have to find a way to cut their financial losses and permanently exile the Rothschilds from the United States. Anybody who is caught engaging in business with the Rothschild Family needs to be permanently blacklisted, no different than what the Japanese Government does to People who are caught doing business with the Yakuza Crime Families in Japan.

And despite all of these solutions, deep down in my heart we just know that you do not have the balls to make the hard decisions to win this war against the Cult of Baal. Once again, if United States Congress does not perform their jobs to protect the Children of Citizens of the United States, then I am left with no choice but to step in and make the Hard Decisions that you are unable to make yourselves.

I do not support President Donald Trump in any way shape or form, but even I am forced to admit that in business he has been correct in one aspect. When you are in charge of performing a job, and you hire someone to work for you, you are well within your rights to fire them if they are unable to perform the job that you hired them to do. If Kash Patel and the FBI refuse to do their jobs and prosecute the Epstein Clients, then United States Congress is well within their rights to Fire Kash Patel and have him placed under arrest for Treason again the United States.

When this night is over, and my Public Service has been performed, tomorrow morning you are all going to wake up to one of the most horrifying bloodbaths that you will ever witness in your lives. You will no longer need to know which of your Hollywood Producers and Politicians are engaged in the Cult of Baal because all of them will be Dead and sentenced to the Dungeons of Niflheim for the rest of their Afterlives. By engaging in the Cult of Baal, what they have done is called a Devil's Bargain, and when you sell your souls to the Demon Realm, someday the Devil comes to collect. It is time for the Cult of Baal to face judgment for their Crimes against the Children of the United States. With no discrimination against their Job Titles or Political Connections. When this night is over. There will be blood. And you are all going to believe that what I have done is a Terrorist Attack. But what I have really done, is I have set you free. Once tonight is over, the United States Congress will never have to answer to the Rothschild Family and the Illuminati ever again. This is no different that when the Founding Fathers freed themselves from Great Britain to develop their own nation. It is time of the United States of America to be free from the Corrupting Influence of the Illuminati once and for all. Thank you and Good Night.

CUT TO:

DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

PAM BONDI:

To the American Public, over the course of the past nine years, the CIA and the Pentagon have been receiving emails from an independent filmmaker in Austin Texas named Kevin Neece who set out to prove that he was the victim of a Demonic Haunting in connection to the Ah My Goddess Anime Series because the Witchcraft Goddesses who inspired the Anime Show murdered his Father right before he attempted to come forward to the FBI as an information on an EPA Investigation. Kevin Neece believes that he was married to Hekate Goddess of the Crossroads as a Shaman's Magickian Spirit Wife to teach him a lesson about the Dangers of What Would Happen if the Fictional Plot of Ah My Goddess ever happened in real life. Kevin Neece found out too late that Hekate was a Death Goddess responsible for arranging the Deaths of all our Favorite Hollywood Actors, Underage Children, and Police Officers. Kevin Neece tried to warn us, that the Goddesses depicted in the Anime Show were Professional Serial Killers in Real Life who were self aware of their popularity in the Anime Show and knew how to impersonate all of the technical elements, most notably The System Force. During this time, Kevin Neece repeatedly engaged in experiments involving Witchcraft and the Occult using Invocation Mantra that he found on an Occultist Website called Satania YouTube in an attempt to see if it were possible to activate a Death Note Replica that you could buy anywhere online. Kevin Neece investigated this in the service of using the Death Note to perform Political Assassinations for the US Government and he shared all of his attempts with the CIA.

After Nine Years, it appears that Kevin Neece has finally figured out the Death Note Spell. And he just used it to declare open war on all of the Epstein List Names and the Cult of Baal.

Kevin Neece has just done exactly what he threatened to do in front of the entire United States Congress. He has systematically wiped out the entire Rothschild Family overnight and he took all 5,400 of their bank employees down with them. The Only Surviving Member that he spared was David Mayer DeRothschild. Kevin Neece did this because all of you accused their Family of being Illuminati Occultists engaging in the Cult of Baal and Child Blood Sacrifice.

Kevin Neece does not have any physical evidence that proves that any of these people working in the Hollywood Film Industry are Occultists. He is murdering them based on Suspicion Alone, based on Online Conspiracy Theories and Misformation that is being spread on Social Media by all of you. This is not what we do in the United States Criminal Justice System. It does not matter what crime that you are being charged with, you are all still human beings who are supposed to be granted the right to a Fair Trial, even if the Judgments do not always end in a Fair Conviction.

This is exactly why we didn't want to release the Epstein Client Names to the general public and Redacted them. Because we did not have sufficient evidence to prove who was innocent and who was guilty, meaning that innocent people could be attacked by accidental association alone.

We tried to warn all of you that there was a reason why we could not press charges against the Epstein List Clients. Jeffrey Epstein's corrupting influence that spread throughout the United States Political System and Corporate Elites was so vast and so damaging that we could not bring them to justice without crippling our entire government infrastructure. And that is exactly what Kevin Neece has just done when he attempted to use a Death Note to clean our house. In his attempts to perform vigilante justice against the Sex Offenders, he completely crippled and destroyed our Entire Government Infrastructure and our ability to function and run the economy overnight. Millions of Americans are about to become affected by this and there is nothing that we can do to protect you from it. All of our Attempts to send the FBI and the Police to Kevin Neece's Home Address have resulted in them being wiped out and killed by Hekate Goddess of the Crossroads and the System Force.

All of the Voice Cast Members of Ah My Goddess are Dead. All of the Staff Members of Kodansha Ltd, Dark Horse Comics, and Spindlehorse Animation are Dead. Gavin Stone and Robert Chaney from Austin Public Access are Dead. Everybody who has fucked Kevin Neece over throughout his life appear to have been wiped out overnight. The only people who were unaffected by Kevin Neece's Death Note Attacks were Tim League from the Alamo Drafthouse, Mike Richardson from Dark Horse Comics, Kosuke Fujishima from Ah My Goddess, Bruce Campbell from the Evil Dead Series, Eddie Rotten Brenda Dickerson and Saul Ravencraft from Zombie Life TV, and Vivienne Medrano from Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss.

I hope that you are all happy with yourselves. Because Doctor What and the Marller Gang have just been driven into Exile. Who is coming to save us now?

DEATH NOTE SCENE

INTERIOR MI5 HEADQUARTERS

ETHAN HUNT:

Ken McCallum. We're receiving a Message Feed from the Death Note Terrorist behind the Rothschild Family Attack. He's requesting to speak with you.

KEN MCCALLUM:

Is it Kevin Neece?

ETHAN HUNT:

Even worse. He's using an Avatar based on the Shinigami from Death Note to deliver his message. You are are not about to believe what you are about to hear.

RYUK:

To Ken McCallum and the Leaders of the MI5. During Kevin Neece's Death Note Culling of the Rothschild Family Dynasty, you may have all been asking yourselves if Great Britain is about to fall under attack. I assure you all that what the Rothschild Family did to the United States of America classifies as Treason and an Act of War. Despite this necessary attack, the intention was not to engage in War against the British Army, the British Government, or the Members of the MI5. The only reason that any members of the Great Britain Society would have fallen victim to last night's attack would be if they were secretly members of the Cult of Baal and associates of the Jeffrey Epstein Illuminati Cult.

You may mistakenly view what just happened as a terrorist attack on the British Government, but in reality, what I have done is I have simply performed a Public Service by removing a Dangerous Criminal Element from your Society that has been giving Great Britain a Bad Name for the Past Few Centuries. Trust me on this, you are all better off without them. If your politicians died last night because they were members of the Cult of Baal, then you are all better off without them.

In order to prevent confusion in this War that may escalate into World War 3, I have taken the liberty of using the System Force to Dismantle and Disengage all of the Nuclear Weapons Systems and Missiles on Planet Earth.

ETHAN HUNT:

Does Kevin Neece really have the ability to disengage our Nuclear Weapons Systems from a Wifi Laptop in located in Austin Texas?

KEN MCCALLUM:

How are supposed to know? We haven't tried to fire them.

RYUK:

If you attempt to engage in Firearms, all of your weapons will backfire on your, killing you in the process. If you attempt to engage in Hand to Hand, you will die of a Heart Attack within a matter of seconds. I am warning you all right now, that when it comes to the game of War, it is not your responsibility to sacrifice your own lives for your country, the objective is to make your enemies die for their country in your place. The objective of this War is not to sacrifice the lives of the MI5, it is to exterminate the Members of the Cult of Baal. There is no logical reason why any of you should have to give your lives during this war when all you have to do is sit back and allow me to do my job.

As it currently stands, the only weapons that will be left available to all of you at the MI5 are your abilities to engage in Logic, Reasoning, Problem Solving, and Discussion. Your are not going to be able to fight your way out of this like a Mission Impossible movie. If you want to survive this war, you are all going to have to think outside the box.

While it would make logical sense to use the System Force to disengage all of the Airline Communications, the problem with that move is it would result in the Planes in Flight crashing and killing the passengers. The objective of this War is not to engage in Terrorist Attacks upon the Commercial Airlines, it is to systematically wipe out the Members of the Cult of Baal. Some of the passengers on the airplanes may die as a result of this attack, but it is not an act of Terrorism, it is because they were Members of the Cult of Baal. The only way that this attack with result in the crashing of the Planes is if they were being piloted by the Members of the Cult of Baal themselves. Do you see where I'm going here?

If you think you have what it takes to face off against an Angel of Death that has been systematically killing people since the biblical days of Jesus Christ, then you are more than welcome to try, but I'm warning you right now, it is never wise to Test the Fates.

The sad truth at the end of the day, is while all of you may look upon me as a Mass Murderer, I am simply a Demi-God assigned to take out the trash. I've been taking out the trash for centuries, and in some ways, the Human Race are metaphorically just one great big pile of Trash themselves that have simply been piling up for the past few centuries. Those Trash Heaps have reached the point where they are ready to collapse, and the only solution is to set them on fire and incinerate them to the ground.

Kevin Neece's Home Address is not a secret to the General Public, but if you are trying to seek out information on the Ah My Goddess Witchcraft Investigation the man you need to track down first lives in Tokyo Japan, Mangaka Kosuke Fujishima, who is the only survivor of the attack on the Ah My Goddess Cast and Crew Members.

ETHAN HUNT:

Is this guy for real? Are we able to look up the home address for Kosuke Fujishima in Japan?

KEN MCCALLUM:

It would make logical sense to contact his representatives at Kodansha Ltd, but there's just one problem. When Kevin Neece pulled this stunt he systematically killed the entire staff at Kodansha Ltd meaning there is nobody left alive in their office that knows away around their files. The Bokuto Police Department are unable to access their computers or their emails because they don't know their logins or their passwords.

ETHAN HUNT:

Can't we just get his home address from the Japanese Government?

KEN MCCALLUM:

Bless you Godfather, you think of everything.

RYUK:

I systematically wiped out the entire staff of Kodansha Ltd, Dark Horse Comics, and Spindlehorse Animation with an additional stipulation that they be admitted entrance to Heaven to prevent them from helping you or being targeted by the Sex Offenders of the Cult of Baal. They may have died of a Heart Attack, but at least they weren't sexually assaulted or tortured to death. Kosuke Fujishima has been avoiding Kevin Neece for the past nine years. It is unknown as to whether Kodansha Ltd ever notified him of Kevin Neece's daily emails that he was sending them.

ETHAN HUNT:

Okay, let's try and solve this realistically. We are trying to hunt down a Time Lord who has just been exiled into Future. What did Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter do in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. They made commitments to perform certain actions in the future that would result in certain actions being performed in the past. And by making those commitments, their results of their actions were already available to them. We need to find a way to get a Police Bulletin into the Future, a Message that can stay in the System for Thousands of Years. As long as necessary possible. No matter what Time Period that Doctor What ends up in, sooner or later he is going to get that message, and when he does and attempts to come back, that means he will be traveling into the past. But and if this plan were to succeed, then that would mean that the Marller Gang are no longer off planet, and they have already come back and they are in hiding somewhere here on earth where we just need to find them. But in order for this to work, we are actually going to have to go through the motions of doing it.

KEN MCCALLUM:

Ethan, the way this night is going, there isn't going to be anybody left on Earth to deliver that Message. We are all staring down the Gauntlet of an Eternity in Hell. And it's all because the President of the United States was guilty of protecting Sex Offenders to save his own ass.

ETHAN HUNT:

Then we need to get this Message Off Planet by uploading it into a Satelite System. We need to put a Bounty on the Marller Gang and hope that someday centuries into the future, there will still be law enforcement officers and bounty hunters that can seek them out. Just because we have no proof of life on other planets doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. The Truth is Out There.

KEN MCCALLUM:

Doctor What and the Marller Gang have the ability to travel from place to place within a matter of minutes bypassing any security checkpoints. They can literally jump back and forth through time and space, into Heaven and Hell, and even into fictional movie universes. Nobody on this Planet has the ability to do that. What kind of Theoretical Futuristic Bounty Hunters are you realistically expecting to be able to chase down the Marller Gang and bring them back here? What we are potentially looking at is one of the most Dangerous High Speed Police Chase Downs in Human History.

INTERIOR VENUS POLICE STATION

CHIEF:

Team Bebop. You hereby being drafted and deputized by the Venus Police Station to perform a Public Service for the United States of America under orders by Director Ken McCallum of the MI5, circa the year 2026.

SPIKE SPIEGEL:

Did you just say the year 2026... but that was nearly 3,000 years ago.

CHIEF:

When this Briefing is over, you and Team Bebop are all going to find yourselves engaging in what might be the most dangerous and unprecedented high speed police chase down in Human History.

We received a Distress Signal from Director Ken McCallum and Ethan Hunt from the MI5 that was uploaded to a Satellite circulating Planet Earth around the year 2026 placing a Bounty on the heads of an Austin Public Access Time Lord named Doctor What and a Demon from Niflheim named Mara Marller who attempted an act of treason against the President of the United States on Live Nation Television, resulting in a Terrorist Attack that wiped out and killed nearly fifty people including FBI Director Kash Patel. Doctor What and the Marller Gang were placed on the FBI's Most Wanted List under Penalty of Death, and escaped justice by escaping in their Time Machine into the Future where the US Government was unable to follow them.

Shortly after Doctor What and the Marller Gang were exiled from the United States, a Hekate Occultist named Kevin Neece retaliated against the US Government by attempting to wipe out and kill nearly 5,400 members of the Rothschild Organization who were suspected of running a Sex Trafficking Ring that infiltrated all aspects of the United States. Kevin Neece researched a fictional anime show called Death Note to see if it was possible to replicate the Death Curse Effects of the Shinigami Book that caused people to die from Heart Attacks, and when he finally got it right, he attempted to use it against all of the Members of the Cult of Baal that were named in an investigation called the Epstein List. When Kevin Neece did this, it resulted in the complete destruction of the United States Government Infrastructure that was necessary to support Millions of Americans in the United States. The FBI and the Police were unable to place Kevin Neece under Arrest because his Death Goddess Hekate kept wiping them out whenever they attempted to come after him.

SPIKE SPIEGEL:

So this guy used a Real Life Working Death Note from a Vintage Anime Show to wipe out a Notorious Sex Trafficking Ring. Jesus Christ man, shouldn't we be giving this guy a medal?

CHIEF:

That's the problem. He didn't just stop with the Sex Traffickers and the Cult of Baal. What Kevin Neece did was an Illegal Act of Vigilante Justice and Mass Murder. The FBI and the US Government were left with no choice but to try and find a way to place him under arrest. But every time they tried to approach him and reason with him, he was forced to death note the investigating officers in self defense to protect himself. Kevin Neece was so paranoid that he refused to take any chances. He would systematically wipe out the entire staff of the Police Stations every time they tried to come after him. Kevin Neece has been fucked over by so many people throughout his life that by the time the Investigating Police Officers finally listened to him, it was too late, he could not bring himself to trust anyone. Kevin Neece announced himself to the MI5 as the Demi God who takes out the Trash, and proceeded to embark on a Mission to impose the Death Penalty on anyone caught engaging in the Cult of Baal, with no discrimination between who was guilty and who was innocent. He didn't just target the Occultists who were guilty, he researched the names of all their living relatives and wiped out their entire bloodlines with no remorse. He chose to take them all and let God sort it out. Kevin Neece could not stop. The only people that he spared were their Underage Children.

Kevin Neece's Shinigami Death Note War against the Cult of Baal and the Corrupt US Government was one of the most gruesome unimaginable bloodbaths of all time, that resulted in the death of Thousands of Innocent Police Officers and Hollywood Celebrities all over the United States until he completely wiped out and destroyed an Entire Nation.

Hekate's Possession of Kevin Neece gave him working knowledge of all the Police Officers and FBI Agents working in the United States, their personal home addresses, who their wives and children were, and where they went to school. There was virtually no way for the US Justice System to hold him accountable because he had the ability to wipe them all out and sentenced them all to the Dungeons of Niflheim for Treason against the Children of the United States.

Ken McCallum and Ethan Hunt's Last Resort was they theorized that if they uploaded a Police Report to a Satellite, the message would stay in our system for the next few centuries until we could identify the Blue Police Box TARDIS if it ever showed up in our Time Period.

As of right now. Doctor What's TARDIS has finally been spotted and identified. There is just one problem. The Marller Gang have no knowledge of what happened after they were banished from their Time Period under the Penalty of Death. From their perspective, they are all wanted Fugitives, and their jump into the future may have only been minutes from their own perspectives. Doctor What has the ability to travel from place to place, bypassing all of the security checkpoints, within a matter of minutes, meaning that nobody in the Criminal Justice System has the technology to follow him. And the Marller Gang never stays in one place for too long. We cannot risk approaching them because if they see us coming and they make the Jump, we are never going to see them again, and our window of opportunity to undo the damage that Kevin Neece did will be lost forever. Thousands of Innocent Police Officers and their Family Members were sentenced to an eternity in the dungeons of Niflheim because of what he did to them.

Doctor What has no context for why we are trying to find him, all that he knows is that the Marller Gang are wanted fugitives facing the Death Penalty which means that they are never going to return to 2026 of their own free will and face justice for their involvement in what Kevin Neece has done.

If the Marller Gang sees Team Bebop or the Venus Police coming, they are all going to run. Because they are all wanted Terrorists. And if they make the jump, we will never see them again. We cannot risk engaging with them face to face, because there is no room left for human error. There is simply no other way around this. You are going to have to chase down the Marller Gang. And it is highly plausible that they are going to run you all through the ringer just to get away from you.

SPIKE SPIEGEL:

How is Team Bebop expected to chase down a Time Machine that can jump dimensions when the technology doesn't exist? It sounds like Doctor What is the only person in existence that knows how to do this.

CHIEF:

Doctor What's TARDIS technology was ahead of its time in 2026, but through centuries of Technological Advancement, the Government was finally able to replicate it, but it was never made available to the General Public. However, there are certain technical issues. Just because you can travel in time doesn't mean that you are going to know where Doctor What and the Marller Gang went. In order to track them, you are going to have to wait for them to abandon the TARDIS, infiltrate their ship, and install this tracker into their Time Circuits, then walk away and leave. From that point on, no matter where Doctor What attempts to run, Team Bebop will be able to make the jump and follow them. This leads to Technical Issue Number Two. In order to make the Jump, you have to remain within a certain radius of the TARDIS when you attempt to chase them down. If you are unable to keep up with the Marller Gang when they make the Jump, it could result in Team Bebop being stranded in a completely different Century with no way to return home. And finally, there is Technical Error Number Three. If you successfully make the Jump, Team Bebop and the Marller Gang are not going to land in the Exact Same Place, which means you are still going to have to seek them out and chase them down. Once again, there is no room for human error in this, because if you fuck this up, Thousands of Innocent Police Officers are going to be sentenced to the Dungeons of Niflheim for an Eternity.

It doesn't matter how far the Marller Gang runs, it doesn't matter how many jumps this is going to take, or how many different centuries you find yourself in, you cannot fuck this up and you cannot allow the Doctor What and the Marller Gang to get away. Team Bebop is only going to have one opportunity to get this right, and once that window closes, all of those Innocent Police Officers and their Families will be completely fucked for the rest of their Afterlives.

When you are finally able to corner Doctor What and the Marller Gang, you are hereby ordered to place them under Citizen's Arrest, and you are going to force Doctor What to take you back to the MI5 Headquarters back in 2026 and turn them into Ken McCallum and Ethan Hunt so they can figure out how to fix the problem with Kevin Neece's Death Note War against the United States Government and the Thirteen Illuminati Occultists. Just because these people are Criminals and Suspected Occultists does not mean that Kevin Neece has the right to enforce the Death Penalty on Thousands of their Employees and their Family Members with No Physical Evidence of their Crimes. It does not matter what crimes they may have committed. It does not matter if they are innocent or guilty. They are still human beings who are supposed to be granted the right to a Lawyer and a Fair Trial. We cannot sit back and allow Vigilante Justice to be performed against Thousands of Police Officers who were simply doing their jobs, by an Occultist Terrorist just because he believes that the US Government and the Criminal Justice System was being Unfair to their own Citizens.

The Entire Reason that this Tragedy happened is because Kevin Neece believed that the FBI and the Criminal Justice System failed to do their jobs protecting the Children of the United States. Because one of the Most Corrupt US Presidents in Human History put the welfare of Sex Traffickers over their own Safety to protect his own ass from Criminal Prosecution. So if Team Bebop wants to save their lives and save the United States of America and the MI5, it is imperative that Team Bebop goes the distance and sees this through to the end.

It is Time for Team Bebop to chase down the Marller Gang. Now get to work.

To Be Continued...

MARLLER GETS A SPINOFF:

COWBOY BEBOP