Written by Kevin Neece
Once Upon a Time, I wrote and directed a fan film series spinoff of Ah My Goddess, that, in a pure Tales from the Crypt twist, happened to be haunted by the real Three Goddesses of Fate that the cartoon was based on. I've gone into great detail in many articles and a book about this. The warning signs that the Goddesses are teasing you are incidents will pop up in your life surrounded by Irony, Serendipity, or Coincidence. And occasionally Belldandy, Urd, Skuld, or Mara's names will pop up in places where they shouldn't be. For example, one night I performed a Ouija Board test with the 1990s Oh My Goddess OVA dvd, and the next morning, I shot a video where Skuld's name appeared in the link address. Specifically SKUldphy-rM.
What I have yet to go into further detail on, is how these supernatural side effects also translated into Kosuke Fujishima's other anime series You're Under Arrest, about female japanese police officers. Basically, I witnessed an event that suggested, by writing real life people and stories into the cartoons, and running the cartoons through an invocation process for the Fates involving a Ouija Board, a DVD player, Black Candles, and a Mirror; Fate would appear to turn against the subject matters of the cartoons in real life.
I had already lost my father to the Norns because of a deadly mistake I made with a Good Fortune Sigil, gifted to me by my friend Saul Ravencraft. But my father was old, and it was just his time. If I had a way to weaponize the Goddesses, Belldandy Urd and Skuld, perhaps I could aim their attention in the direction of the bastards who deserved it. My own small way to redeem myself for the death of Jim Neece, since nobody appears to want to investigate his case against the Texas Commission of Environmental Quality. How did I stumble upon this power and what cartoon experiments did I use it on?
It all started with an Austin American Statesmen Newspaper Article about Defense Distributed Founder Cody Wilson, who had invented a 3D Printed Plastic Gun that could pass through metal detectors unnoticed, and released it onto the internet against the wishes of the US Government. Cody had no conscience whatsoever about what he had done, or even if his guns were used to shoot up a school. The US Government was looking for a way to get rid of him, but here he still stood, stroking his own ego for the Austin American Statesmen. So I made an insulting You're Under Arrest opinion piece about Cody Wilson, and hid Saul Ravencraft's sigil for Good Fortune behind a piece of the artwork.
The original title of the cartoon was Cody Wilson Go Fuck Yourself. And later that night, the coincidence part of the curse of Bad Goddess showcased itself as I was perusing videos on Redtube. Basically, the very first video I clicked on was a black woman making it with a male photographer, whom, by pure coincidence happened to be named Cody. The Goddesses were making fun of me. Cody Wilson Go Fuck Yourself. I almost fucked myself to a video with a man named Cody. Very funny Urd.
Then about a month later... it happened. An Arrest Warrant was put out by the Austin Police Department for Cody Wilson concerning Sexual Assault Allegations and he was caught in a foreign country. All I could think was wow. The Goddesses really mean business. How do I know the Goddesses were involved? It was the irony part of the curse. Cody Wilson was let off on probation under the stipulation that he cut all ties with Defense Distributed, which has nothing to do with the crime of sexual assault. This is a police ploy commonly known as the Al Capone was Arrested for Tax Evasion Ploy. They couldn't get Cody for the guns, so they brought him up on a different charge. Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if that wound up being how I met my end as well. Because as you all know, in world of witchcraft, what you send out comes back times three.
But Kevin, this article is supposed to be about Officer Amber Guyger? You're right, I'm getting there. So... as I was coming up with ideas for a feature length You're Under Arrest movie, one of the subject matters that I had never seen on the original anime show, was a plot about a police officer on trial for a shooting that turns all of social media against the Bokuto Police Department. Basically, it would bring the show up to date on current events, but I would have to make it myself. There was just one problem. I just didn't think it was believable that Officer Ken, the Whitehawk, would shoot an innocent black man in cold blood, or even a kid with a toy gun for that matter. Police shootings are sadly a dime a dozen nowadays, and in order to make the plot work, I had to have the right real life shooting to match the personalities of the You're Under Arrest characters so that the crime would be believable. Enter Officer Amber Guyger and the tragic shooting of Botham Jean.
Officer Amber Guyger's initial story was that she came home from a hard day's work, only to accidentally park on the wrong floor above hers, and walked into the wrong apartment, believing it to be her own. She then shot Botham Jean under the believe that he was a burglar, unaware that she was in the wrong apartment. Well that sucks for Botham Jean, but it's a perfectly believable cover story for Officer Miyuki Kobayakawa. Basically, the shooting in the You're Under Arrest cartoon could be considered an accident that could have happened to anybody right? Right? Yeah fuckin right.
You could tell immediately that Amber Guyger didn't really give a fuck about Botham Jean's welfare, or whether she was in the right or wrong, because in the early reporting days of the shooting, she intentionally trolled the social media news to piss everyone off. Those crocodile tears she shed during the trial were simply because she knew her number was up. When that incident first went down, everybody was scared to death that she would get off, and I knew I had my secret Tales from the Crypt weapon in the form of Belldandy Urd and Skuld. What more deserving guinea pig than Amber Guyger should feel the wrath of their witchcraft.
It was so obvious. First, when the Dallas police showed up to arrest her, they had a little off the records huddle to try and figure out whether she was worth defending. They put her welfare above the safety of Botham Jean. Then after the place was cleared out, they came back later and magically found marijuana in his apartment, which apparently they did not noticed the first time around. As if incriminating and smearing a man after his murder somehow makes up for the fact that he was shot in his own apartment when he was sitting down watching television and eating a bowl of ice cream. And then the dumb fucks tried to bring charges against the Jean Family Lawyer. And when that failed, Amber Guyger unsuccessfully tried to get her trial moved to another district so that she would get a white jury. My favorite moment was when the ex-chief of police stood up and said that Amber Guyger had just cause to open fire... and the Black Judge told him to go fuck himself. Okay, I'm paraphrasing here. THE DALLAS PD DID EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO GET AMBER GUYGER OFF THE HOOK. And it scared everyone on Social Media to death.
And every time that they did it, I invoked the Goddesses using the cartoon and ran it through the Ouija Board process, and by pure coincidence, their attempts failed and Amber Guyger's case went forward. It was highly important that this woman did not get off the hook so that the City of Dallas would not be compelled to Riot against the Police Station. Remember the recent George Floyd incident? They cleared out the Police Station when the riots were going on and the protesters went into the station and BURNED IT DOWN. That is the danger that happens every time a police shooting hits social media. And I beg you all to realize, that just because there were a few bad apples in Amber Guyger's case, DOES NOT mean that the entire Dallas PD were in on it. In the rules of the Police, you can disagree with your bosses decision, but if you don't follow his orders, you can be suspended for insubordination.
This was another point that I wanted to make in the You're Under Arrest cartoon, that Miyuki Kobayakawa acted on her own, and the other officers were being punished for it in their personal lives because of social media outcry. This was a scene that I have never seen done in the original You're Under Arrest series.
So finally, Amber Guyger was sentenced to ten years in prison. The Goddesses came through right? How do I know the Goddesses were involved? Once again, Irony, Serendipity, and Coincidence. Here's the Irony: at the end of the trial, it came out that Amber Guyger had been texting jokes about the assassination of black community leader Martin Luther King Jr, only to walk into the wrong apartment and shoot another black community leader Botham Jean. Here's the Coincidence. In the You're Under Arrest cartoon, the Prosecutor and the Defense Lawyer switch sides during the trial because they know it will make no difference to the trial outcome. When the trial was ongoing and being reported online, people on social media were complaining that the prosecutor was doing the defense's job for them, or vice versa. Just like the cartoon.
Here's the Irony AND Coincidence: at the end of the cartoon, Skuld states that "Amber Guyger" and Botham Jean were both co-opted to suit everyone's agendas, and none of them wanted to believe it was an accident because there had been too many cases where criminal officers were let off. After Amber Guyger was sentenced to ten years in prison, the Jean Family tried to show her Christian Forgiveness and Social Media turned on them. They didn't really care about the family's feelings. They just wanted to see a white officer convicted. And none of them were happy. If Amber Guyger had gotten life in prison, they would have compared her to another unrelated case and then complained that she should have gotten the death penalty.
And now comes the most damning part of all. The witchcraft spell backfire times three. Another incident happened after the trial and conviction of Amber Guyger, which could be interpreted as the You're Under Arrest curse backfiring times three (such as all magic spells do). One of the major witnesses in the Botham Jean case was his neighbor Joseph Brown, who was shot and killed in what the police claimed to be a drug deal gone wrong. The police stated that some men drove five hours from Louisiana to Texas to buy weed off of Joseph Brown, and after his death, the police found twelve pounds of marijuana in his apartment. Many people in the general public have refused to accept this story as the motivations feel completely unbelievable for a number of reasons. First off, Joseph Brown was said to be terrified of guns and lived in fear that he would be killed for testifying against a police officer. Joseph Brown was under the watch of the police and very much in the public eye during the trial so it does not make sense as to why he would engage in such behavior so close to the conviction of Amber Guyger. Secondly, it has been stated that it is much easier to acquire Marijuana in the state of Louisiana under Medical Conditions, than it is in the state of Texas where it is illegal. The amount of gas that they spent to acquire the Marijuana was significantly more than the value of the Marijuana itself. Thirdly, it is also well known that Undercover Police Officers performing Sting Operations have been known to engage in theatrically staged situations to put their targets to the test to see if they would commit a crime in a specific situation. All of this makes the death of Joseph Brown look suspicious to the point that the lawyer who represented Botham Jean's family has requested that the case be handled by someone outside of the Dallas PD as there were too many instances of corrupt behavior during the Botham Jean investigation to begin with.
Remember what I stated earlier, the entire point of convicting Amber Guyger was too prevent the City of Dallas from rioting on the Police Station. And they did everything in their power to fuck that up. The death of Joseph Brown completely X's out the conviction of Amber Guyger, and because of that, the Dallas PD deserve whatever comes their way.
Now, I understand that a lot of you don't believe in witchcraft. That all of this is a gimmick that I've just compiled together. Certainly the police officers who are reading this have no fear of a cartoon haunted by Belldandy Urd and Skuld from Norse Mythology. And to the family of Botham Jean, no exploitation was intended within the making of this cartoon. However, Joseph Brown did die after the trial, and sometimes it makes me wonder, even though the Dallas PD were "allegedly" responsible. So where is Kevin Neece's punishment in all this for messing with the power of the Gods?
Allow to introduce you to one final story, Kyoto Animation is Burning. Once upon a time, a disgruntled writer named Shinji Aoba, who suffered from mental health issues, accused Kyoto Animation of plagiarizing his novel for an anime series. Instead of taking this to court, the buttfucking little whore filled up tanks of gasoline and set the building on fire, murdering 34 people and injuring 35 more. Adding insult to the injury, the building didn't have fire sprinklers or a fire escape, which apparently was NOT a violation of the fire code, but I'm somewhat pissed at their leadership for allowing such conditions anyways.
Kyoto Animation announced that all of their work had been lost, and that they had no proof of Shinji Aoba's plagiarism allegations. I understood right then and there was needed to happen. But I also knew that if I made a cartoon spoofing the incident, nobody in the animation industry would ever hire me. That was the sacrifice needed to invoke the Goddesses just one more time. And so I made the cartoon. And after making that horrible cartoon, which will most likely damn my soul to hell. These were the results.
Kyoto Animation announced that by some miracle, ONE server survived and they were able to regain all of their work. They then came clean with an announcement that Shinji Aoba did in fact submit a novel to one of their contests. I am not proud of the Kyoto Animation is Burning cartoon. But a sacrifice had to be made to gain the Goddesses attention. And what I have to say in the cartoon is entirely true. Kyoto Animation is Burning, and everyone on the internet's biggest concern is what movies they should be watching to show their support while all of the animators are going through burn trauma treatments.
If Charlie Day, Rick Moranis, and Josh Gad had been aware of this cartoon's existence, I would not blame them in the slightest if they sued my ass. And the fact that they haven't showcases the ultimate curse of Bad Goddess. This series doesn't have an audience. It has the ability to manipulate Fate and send the Goddesses after people to fix problems, but as you can all see, just because you have the ability to interfere in a person's Fate does not mean that you should go out and do it. And the price that you think that you are willing to live with almost always ends up being the price that you never wanted to pay.
And that is why there have been no more new You're Under Arrest episodes since. But it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if somebody else tried to pick up the torch. Just remember, what you send out comes back times three, and the protagonists of those Tales from the Crypt episodes almost always receive a ghoulish comeuppance.
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